All Girls Weekend (2016)

allgirlsweekend“All Girls Weekend” isn’t anything that the cool poster promises. It’s an ensemble, is set in winter, and is not really a slasher movie. Lou Simon’s horror movie is actually a film in the vein of “The Descent” and “The Ruins” where a group of young female hikers going away together for a fun weekend end up getting lost in the middle of the woods. Before long their hike turns in to an endless trip in to insanity where the woods are seemingly sentient, and hell bent on driving them mad. What keeps “All Girls Weekend” lackluster and the aforementioned movies white knuckled horror entries is simple: The characters.

While the all female cast seem to do their damndest to pull in great turns (and many of them look like they can potentially dominate horror down the road), the concept of being lost in the woods and going hungry and thirsty never seems to dawn on them. At all. When another of their friends is stabbed in the leg with a branch and is seemingly so wounded she can barely breathe, the friends do nothing but apathetically mock one another. When she dies, it has no punch dramatically and adds nothing. After leaving her corpse behind one of the characters literally asks aloud “Aren’t we all upset?” to which the other replies, “Of course. God I’m thirsty. Anyone have any water?”

Compare that with the devastating claustrophobia and the delirium of running around in a dark cave in “The Descent” and the difference is apparent. What should have been a mind fuck about falling victim to a sentient natural landscape comes off as a mere nuisance to the characters most times. By the time they realize they’re in deep dung, it’s too little, too late. It’s a shame since I really enjoyed Simon’s previous horror outing “HazMat,” and I love her idea of filling these genre entries with more minority characters of great importance to the narrative. Sadly, “All Girls Weekend” is filled with truly vapid and unlikable protagonists, feels stretched thin, and is under developed.

Available on VOD.