Entourage: The Movie (2015) [Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital]

entourage“Entourage” is probably the first movie I’ve ever wanted to punch. It’s also the only movie I’m sure that if I punched, my fist would probably smell like Axe body spray for a few weeks. “Entourage” is certainly a movie. It had a beginning, a middle, and an end, and had actors in it, and a script. I’m assuming. I’ll just lay it all on the floor right now: I have never seen a single episode of “Entourage” even though I am familiar with it. For folks that would argue that you have to be a fan to understand and or enjoy this film, I would argue that that excuse only highlights how terrible this movie is.

It should be allowing everyone in a broader audience to enter it and feel as if they’ve seen a movie. Otherwise why didn’t HBO just air this as a two hour television movie exclusive allowing only fans to find it? I just don’t accept that “Well you have to be a fan to like this” junk. In either case, “Entourage: The Movie” is a waste of time and a vapid piece of crapola that thankfully tanked at the box office. It’s an endless stream of palaver spouted by an endless parade of vapid California personalities. They all saunter around Hollywood either bumping in to celebrities or walking past a group of really sexy women. Seriously, in a country where obesity is an epidemic, I refuse to believe every single inch of Hollywood is filled with gorgeous models.

In either case, “Entourage” is packed with a bunch of A, B, and C plots, all of which I assume has to do with the end of the original series. The biggest conflict I could find that only peaked my interest even for a moment was main character Vince’s struggles with a film executive’s son (Haley Joel Osment) who desperately wants to cut his brother Johnny out of his up and coming prestige film. Along the way Vince battles with the young executive to keep his brother in the film, and this all leads to a moronic twist involving—what else? A hot girl.

Well, Emily Ratajkowski, who plays herself and can barely do that convincingly. It’s shocking how much talent appears in “Entourage” and is given nothing to do. Billy Bob Thorton, Kelsey Grammer, Mark Wahlberg, all these individuals appear for mere minutes and never actually lessen the blunt force of obnoxiousness that is “Entourage.” The glorified series finale really just coasts along for a hundred minutes following a ton of characters you instantly want to see mowed down by a truck, and never actually achieves laughs, or a remotely engaging premise. It’s empty nonsense, and one I won’t be watching again.

Featured on the Blu-Ray/DVD release is “The Gang: Still Rockin’ It,” a fourteen minute look at the creation and end of “Entourage” with creator Doug Ellin. He’s joined by all of the cast of the show, all of whom discuss the eight season run on HBO, and the beginnings of the big screen reunion. “Hollywood, Baby!” is an eighty minute EPK that explores the process of transforming the show to a more risky movie. There are interviews with the cast and producer Mark Wahlberg. “The Making of Hyde” is a five minute mock featurette covering the making of the in-film movie “Hyde” with Vinnie Chase shooting his movie’s opening scene. There are nineteen minutes of deleted, extended and alternate scenes, as well as a look at Doug Ellin’s son Lucas, the two minute “Lucas Ellin is Jonah Gold,” and finally a three minute gag reel.