The Amazing Bulk (2010)


The only way I can come to grips with the fact that “The Amazing Bulk” actually exists is that someone on the cast or crew needed to pay off their gambling debts for a violent loan shark. They were faced with paying off their debts but couldn’t really afford it. So, in order to prevent getting hurt or murdered, they whipped together a movie out of Windows 95 clip art, Microsoft Paint, an old HD camera someone owned, and a lot of green screens in under a week at the director’s loft somewhere in California. They were able to get it out on the market to pay their debts, and now we’re stuck with this festering pile of unwatchable crap called “The Amazing Bulk.”

Watching scenes from this movie, there’s no way anyone sane directed this. Even the worst indie filmmakers approach a movie thinking they’re making something good. Scenes in this void of garbage is so ridiculous the director either just didn’t give a crap, or intended a comedic effect that failed miserably. Everything is immensely out of proportion, the editing is awful, the acting is abysmal, the writing is grade school level, and there is just so much ridiculous nonsense thrown at us, you can’t even focus on the fact that it’s a rip off of “The Incredible Hulk.” Every single scene in the movie is either green screen or really bad computer animation at the level of Windows 95.

The animals are computer animated, the scenery is computer animated, they don’t even have the wisdom to shoot dialogue scenes between characters on the highway in actual cars. They just film two people sitting on a couch and animated a car over their bodies! Something this moronic has to be intentional. When they film in bed rooms or living rooms, even those are green screened with badly animated furniture. Are these people filming in some void of reality we’ve yet to find? I’m certain someone is pulling the wool over our eyes. The entire movie is shot like a bad music video from 1983 with shitty polygonal backgrounds, and dialogue that never matches the actors at all.

The scenery is also very ridiculous, as one moment our character is in Hawaii and the next scene he and his girlfriend are running in the meadows near a countryside lake. In the finale, our hero Henry Howard goes on a binge drinking tirade and walks past a badly animated golf court, and a rainbow with a leprechaun sitting down on a rock. He then stumbles upon the Disney castle our villains are in, and is groped by the female villain who fondles his large pecker when he’s the purple bulk. There’s no way any sane person thought this was a movie worthy of being regarded as a stern action movie effort. It’s clearly an attempt at comedy a la “Birdemic” that misses every mark possible in being funny, or remotely humorous. It’s a waste of time, and one that irritates me even more when I think the filmmakers wasted time on a movie they really didn’t care about.