The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String (2003)

gstringsI still don’t quite understand the appeal of Seduction Cinema. Hell, even I find the movies they release to be entertaining and appealing. The women are hot, sure, but this is the age of the internet where pictures and videos of hot women are at your finger tips in seconds. And surely there are more hardcore films out there with hotter women. Surely, it can’t be the sex scenes since all of the sequences involve light kissing and mild petting. Watching a movie from Seduction Cinema is akin to getting your crotch rubbed over thick pants.

Most of the productions from Seduction Cinema look as if they were filmed in a back yard, with most of the performers barely able to deliver even the most respectable performances. And yet, they still have a massive library, and a fan base. Seduction Cinema just has that method of taking deliriously stupid productions and turning them in to a good time you can laugh and roll your eyes at. The lovable nymph and poster child for Seduction Cinema, Misty Mundae plays Dildo Saggins, one in a breed of Throbbits, short hot women who live in Diddle Earth. Tasked with finding the magical G-String that can grant its wearer powers, Dildo and her “honeys” Horny and Spam venture out by the command of Smirnoff the drunk Wizard to find the G String before the evil forces do.

Meanwhile, there’s a ton of girl on girl including some heavy petting and deep kissing, and that’s about as far as it goes. As with most Seduction Cinema titles, the heavy emphasis is on girl on girl sequences and long stretches of erotic groping and rubbing between two or more hot performers in the movie. The movie itself is hell bent on garnering some laughter, however minimal, so director Terry West doesn’t exactly limit himself to satire on “Lord of the Rings.” There’s gags about hillbillies, Monty Python, and even one long gag about “Wizard of Oz.” One of the more interesting appeals of Seduction Cinema films is their knack for hiring extremely sexy women to engage in the story and appear topless or completely nude at the drop of a hat, and this production is in no short supply.

There are plenty really gorgeous women to be ogled, and we’re introduced to Dildo and her gal pals as they dance naked for local villagers for kicks. When you have gorgeous women running around like LARPERs for ninety minutes and dropping trou, the plot becomes irrelevant, and thankfully Seduction Cinema delivers another really entertaining diversion with their take on Tolkien. Say what you want about Seduction Cinema, but there really isn’t anyone else like them or Misty Mundae in film today. Really hot women, really great bodies, really unique comedy, and some creative word play make for a decent distraction.