I don’t know what’s weirder, the fact that movie is a satire of women in prison movies or that I recognized that 90 percent of the cast for “Bikini Chain Gang” are porn stars. But then Fred Olen Ray’s comedy about women in prison is really just a mid-level porno that’s about ninety minutes. Well–fifty, when you cut out the monotonous sex scenes that injected mid-story. Basically, the story is so utterly simple it’s as if Fred Olen Ray wrote the premise down on a cocktail napkin in between bouts of Scotch and sniffing coke off of Asian strippers’ backs.
Beverly Lynne plays Jessie, a young bartender who is constantly ogled and molested by her boss. While fending him off in the bathroom of his bar, the establishment is held up by the living dead bandit. Jessie interrupts the crime scene and as the cops arrive to stop the robbery, Jessie’s boss declares that she was in on the attempted robbery. Apparently due process and evidence mean nothing in this world, as Jessie is immediately whisked off to hard time in a local women’s penitentiary where the sexual innuendos and girl on girl scenes are delivered fast and loose. Not that I’m complaining but you assume a movie entitled “Bikini Chain Gang” would feature an actual chain gang.
Instead much of what’s left up to the viewer is Jay Richardson doing what I’m assuming is improv most of the time, while the movie jumps in to mid-level sex scenes that teeter between softcore and hardcore most of the time. Thankfully for its faults, there is the eye candy and it’s plentiful. Jassie and Brooke Banner are sexy, while Nicole Sheridan is scorching hot as the evil Matron Togar, who plays foil to the moronic prisoners. “Bikini Chain Gang” is obviously very low budget and light on brains, but for what it promises, it’s a passable time with some scenes so ridiculous you’ll have a better time laughing at it than enjoying it. Seriously: cheapest rock quarry ever. Nicole Sheridan rocks black leather like nobody’s business and there’s a severe lack of actual chain gangs, but Fred Olen Ray’s comedy is a passable exploitation porno with some material that may keep viewers watching for its mercifully short run time.