Skull Heads (2009)

SkullHeads1I understand at a certain point there has to be caution drawn about the budget, but would it hurt to have a film about characters that can do something other than stare in to the camera and make miniscule movements? “Skullheads” is a story about the worst guardians of all time, guardians of a large castle who do nothing but appear in mirrors every so often and watch the owners of the castle inflict horrible pain on one another. Beyond that, “Skullheads” is basically a ninety minute melodrama that draws the concept for the skull heads but has no idea what to do with them until much later on in the film.

The duration of the story is centered around a fractured family who do nothing but inflict pain on one another from the moment they’re introduced. Basically the man of the house wants nothing for his daughter but to keep her cooped inside the castle, while she seeks greener pastures. Conveniently a group of Hollywood filmmakers have come knocking at the door to request permission to shoot their film.

Most of this sub-plot is just fodder and complete filler as they spend a lot of their time trying to shoehorn themselves in to the property. Later we find out that they’re criminals trying to steal artifacts from the house and are going to break in anyway. So their mock performances as Hollywood big wigs was pointless to begin with. It’s a shame “Skullheads” tarnishes such a golden opportunity as the small protectors of the castle are barely used if at all.

And when the shit finally hits the fan it’s a lot less exciting than what we originally expected in the beginning. “Skull Heads” is another penny saver for Full Moon, and an unfortunate unpleasant one. Other than re-using sets and whatnot, I’m still not sure what the point was behind “Skullheads.” It takes a nonsensical premise, adds even more miniature creatures to the fold and has nothing to do with them for the majority of the picture and in the end just wastes the viewers time.