Monster Island is at it again, except this time we enter in to a virtual clone of Power Rangers, all of whom–named the Planet Patrol–take on Lord Doom and his lethal weapon Kraa! I’ve never seen any of the actual material for Planet Patrol (what little there is), nor am I aware of the back story, so “Kraa!” will assuredly be confusing for anyone paying attention. Especially when you see news footage from “Zarkorr!” blatantly reused for “Kraa!” All we’re told is that evil Lord Doom (who dons a stock skull mask and cape) is planning to unleash the Sea Monster Kraa! This monster will rise from the seas to conquer Earth, all the while Doom plans to take the planet’s ice for his world.
The Planet Patrol are your usual diverse group of crime fighting teens, one of whom is the new girl Curtis, a psychic with the ability to sense people’s thoughts. If Curtis looks familiar it’s because she’s played by Alison Lohman, the fine young actress behind films such as “Drag me to Hell” and “White Oleander.” Here she’s Curtis, the mystical Planet Patrol… person (?) who helps her new team take on evil Lord Doom. Kraa! has risen and Kraa! is rampaging Earth for his evil lord. I was pretty lost with “Kraa!” mainly because there seems to have been a huge chunk of story before Kraa ever rose that we never were let in on. What’s the Planet Patrol? Who runs them? What do they do exactly? Do they patrol all planets? Are they cops or just monitors?
Why were they chosen? Who chose them? Is there a school for the Planet Patrol? And why didn’t they sense Kraa was lying dormant in the sea of Planet Earth until now? Does the Planet Patrol have cool costumes like the Power Rangers? More to the point what will a giant monster accomplish? “Kraa!” takes a strange direction in the middle where the Planet Patrol serve no purpose as they send snail like alien with an Italian Accent to stop Kraa! teamed with two innocent bystanders who help the monster figure out how to stop the monster from destroying the world. As the government pursues the monster, and the bystanders figure out forms of diversions for the beast, the writers find little for the main heroes to do.
Audiences will surely be sitting back wondering “Do the Planet Patrol ever do anything?” Because their job seems mainly just sitting around their ship watching the action on Earth. And what happened to Lord Doom? Does he still want the planet’s ice? And poor Alison Lohman. Even in this film, she looks too good for her surroundings. “Kraa!” tries to be exciting, but sadly it just works as a barely entertaining monster movie that will induce laughs from audiences and little else. Like most Full Moon films, “Kraa!” is a ridiculous and utterly stupid piece of genre fare, but clocking in at barely seventy minutes, there is some entertainment value to be derived especially from Giant Kaiju fans and folks interested in Alison Lohman’s cinematic roots. While obviously not a masterpiece, this is far from wretched either.