Ice Spiders (2007)

Ice-SpiderI’m not sure why, but the prospect of watching “Ice Spiders” was intriguing to me. Perhaps it’s because I just enjoy movies with giant monsters, or perhaps because many movies with giant spiders end up a barrel full of laughs, or maybe because I just enjoy cheesy monster movies. “Ice Spiders” really doesn’t take itself too seriously, and that’s a great thing considering the ridiculous plot we’re introduced to. But with all the horrible plot devices against it from minute one, “Ice Spiders” comes out ahead.

Hell, everything in this movie is utterly solid. I cared about the characters, I thought the spider attacks were creepy, and Patrick Muldoon is a very good hero who has to fight off these giant man eating arachnids on the icy slopes he works in. This sets the film up for another hokey “Jaws” device about a ski resort that refuses to close down even in the face of these attacks, but hell, “Ice Spiders” is entertaining enough to forgive it for that. Hell, there’s even a group of roughneck gun toting commandoes led by “Melrose Place” actor Thomas Calabro, who are hunting the spiders and trying to stop them before they get to the ski resort. But you know as well as I do, that it’s a losing battle. Writer Eric Miller sets up the pins to fall at the jaws of the spiders with obvious signs of who will win or lose, but the tension is thick enough to warrant the audience’s attention.

Though not as goofy as one of my favorite giant spider flicks “Eight Legged Freaks,” it’s just as morbid and campy as the former, and hell, for a low budget film, the special effects are often very solid. Though Takács slyly keeps the spiders in a distance and fuzzy, the effects create a realistic feel for the little predators, and I enjoyed watching these creatures hunting hapless skiers. “Ice Spiders” is gladly a fun little monster flick, and one that does it all with a self aware smile, and I enjoyed it for that. And you have to love the way our primary antagonist dies in the climax. It’s great! Yes, it’s really cheesy, hokey, and campy, but it’s also a great little B grade monster mash with killer spiders, power hungry military men, heroic skiers, and genuine splatter for the schlock fans out there.