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Evil Aliens (2005)

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About five minutes into Jake West’s “Evil Aliens”, I was already sinking low into my seat wondering what I was watching. It begins as a simple horror film. Two people are having sex. And they’re abducted. The man then experiences one hell of a violent anal probe that tops off the sick fuck fest known as “Evil Aliens”, and I was having fun. Led by an utterly vivacious news reporter (Emily Booth), a group of cameramen and reporters head out into the countryside to investigate a case of abduction, and alien pregnancy they suspect is bogus, that will essentially lead to one hell of a bloody skirmish that makes up most of “Evil Aliens”.

It’s one part comedy, one part sleaze, and two parts pure horror film, West takes advantage of his carte blanche of gore effects and creates many utterly gruesome sequences that will satisfy the most cynical horror freak. “Evil Aliens” has a sick humor about it, and never takes itself seriously; the characters are utterly moronic managing to sabotage each other’s efforts to survive and fend off against the aliens on numerous instances, and when they manage to find a car to escape in, one boasts “I’ll bet you fifty quid the car doesn’t start” and when a character begins boarding up windows, Shaw exclaims “What’s the point of doing that, it never works in zombie movies!” One of the appealing factors of West’s film, though, is that it shamelessly features some of the most disgusting gore you’ll ever see, and West is never above spraying his cast with blood in every possible occasion.

There’s popped zit, a cut open fetus, decapitations, gauged eyeballs, and a truly amazing homage to “Cannibal Holocaust” that you have to see for yourself. The special effects are noticeably low-tech, but never shoddy. Save for some CGI, West relies on good old fashioned blood splatter to keep the audience tight in their seats. The aliens themselves are utterly brutal with incredible latex work, and wonderful costumes,  West manages to balance the comedy and horror just fine with some really memorable gags, and the characters knack for being complete numbskulls. Throughout the course of the film, you’ll find yourself constantly changing loyalties between rooting for the humans to survive, and anxiously awaiting their deaths. “Evil Aliens” is mostly a comedy in which our characters have no way of getting off this Welsh island, so they have to do nothing but fight to survive and lower their numbers, and then there’s nothing but bloody carnage involving bow and arrows, shotguns, and one hilarious alien sex scene.

But, one main reason to watch this? Emily Booth. Pure and simple. Booth is basically the British equivalent of Linnea Quigley making her pure sex appeal all too evident, yet is never afraid to be completely goofy. I loved “Evil Aliens” in many instances, because it’s not afraid to be stupid. When it’s stupid it’s fun, and West has the formula down right. It’s a ridiculous movie, I won’t argue that, and at times it’s extremely over the top, but I had a hell of a time because of those aspects. West’s “Evil Aliens” may just be the next cult classic, and it’s for good reason. With the right amount of sex, gore, action, and comedy, you’ll find it hard to resist.