Ultraviolet (2006)
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UltravioletI thought “Equilibrium” was a great action science fiction film that really showed that Kurt Wimmer had the possibility to create intelligent action films, but then he created “Ultraviolet”. Rule one of being in the art field, Kurt, never create copies of your previous work. People will know. “Ultraviolet” is one part Calvin Klein models gone psycho, one part music video, and one part tired genre fodder that takes basically any and every chance to keep from being original.

Wimmer creates a neon-colored world and shows us what a missed opportunity looks like. From the get go I was not looking forward to “Ultraviolet”, I thought it looked like an idiotic product of a creatively impotent one trick pony, and I just couldn’t understand why self-loathing movie-goers were insisting this could be one hell of a great film. Perhaps it was the shiny colors, and the supermodel with the hip huggers, and shirt that revealed her tight abs that swayed them. But this cheap “Minority Report” imitation really just proves how utterly intelligent movie-goers can be on rare occasions as this film barely broke the top ten in the opening weekend. And Milla still hasn’t proven she can act.

Dear fucking god, does she give a horrible performance. Watch her whisper her way through this movie and spout utterly wretched dialogue like: “You think those people are bad? Well, lemme tell you somethin’, the real monster you don’t want knockin’ down your door is me.” But we’ll get to that soon. Conspiracy theorists say that there aren’t hit superhero movies with females because people don’t want to see female superheroes, but I have to ask, what the hell do you expect with “Catwoman”, “Bloodrayne”, “Elektra” and this crap? Give us a really good movie involving a female superhero and we’ll come to watch. Give us a superhero movie that has a female protagonist that’s a real character with emotions, and personality, and not just some model performing stunts and running around in skimpy outfits.

When these female superheroes become characters and not fetishized Barbie dolls, then perhaps an audience will come flocking. It’s Hollywood once again missing the point. Wimmer’s film is horribly cliché with every single fail safe plot device you can pull out your ass. War against humans and hemophages, one lone rebel, faceless government empire, scowling villain, faceless foot soldiers, and one child who can save the world and destroy the world–yadda, yadda, Kurt you disappoint me. The vampires are instead called hemophages–which Wimmer explains with the theme of the holocaust–and they spread the disease through blood, which none of them apparently drink, and Wimmer creates a crafty way of dodging the biggest plot hole in the film.

The child in question is a potentially deadly weapon that could kill the entire human race. Violet asks “Why would humans create a child who possesses human antigens?” to which the carbon copy villain replies “Why do I, or you care as long as we get paid?” Crafty, Wimmer. Regardless of Wimmer constantly writing himself in to a corner, the main flaw is the heroine herself. Ultraviolet, who looks mysteriously like Britney Spears in her “Toxic” music video, and possesses elements that rips from “Dark Angel”, is really just a walking one-dimensional concept that probably sounded good on paper. To Wimmer. She’s basically a combination of every female superhero we’ve seen in the last six years. The boring carbon copy who can do anything without a struggle.

Milla Jovovich, whose played this same damn character in “The Fifth Element”, “Resident Evil”, and “Resident Evil: Apocalypse” (and seems to want to continue doing so) really should get a new agent. We get it Jovovich, girl power and all that crap. Stop being an action figure and try proving us wrong that you can’t act. And Jovovich doesn’t help matters either by giving an incredibly awful performance, one of which proves that her acting ability is reliant solely on her looks. Wimmer’s script is so bad he has to have Violet narrate to us to explain her story, and the beings are not called vampires, they’re called hemophages, but of course they’re pretty much not vampires since there’s really no blood shed or blood lust.

And just to pad the movie Violet is running from the government, a rival hemophage clan, and bonds with number six (played by the always awful Cameron Bright). Wimmer’s script is a further monstrosity that bandies about horrible dialogue consisting of one-liners that litter about ninety percent of the film. Here’s an example of such Mamet-esque dialogue:

“Violet right?”
“Wrong.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because I hate humans. Every fiber of my being.”
“You know you won’t get away with this.”

Ever hear of a paragraph, Kurt? Did Kurt actually think these short three word exchanges between literally everyone in this film was stylish? An excuse for him to increase the quick cuts? Not to mention Wimmer throws plot hole after plot hole that had me slumped down in my seat. There are just so many that pretty much appear throughout the entire film, and Wimmer relies on the deus ex machina to help him out of jams. Where did she learn martial arts? How and why can she change the color of her hair at will? What purpose does that serve to her? Need to get away from a high speed chase? How convenient her cycle can ride alongside buildings, need to save the powerful child who so happens to be your cargo? Eh, just duplicate it with a modular hologram device you happened to have on you.

Surrounded? Eh, just put on a device that lets you move faster than everyone else and dodge bullets, which by the way your enemies watch you put on slowly without stopping you. Trapped in the dark? Wow, how cool that your sword can suddenly burst in to flames  to help you see. “Ultraviolet” is a vicious attack on your eyes, ears, and brain, and Wimmer’s balloon has deflated. “You got hemoblood on me. It is on.” Did anyone actually think this was a good line? Well, either way, “Ultraviolet” is one of the worst movies of 2006 so far, and I’ve yet to see a movie that was so colorful, active, and loud that had me falling asleep and wanting to hang myself. I could just imagine Wimmer at the pitch meeting. “It’s a vampire chick, in the future with guns!” Milla, the act is old.