The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (2004)

GetVODTitleImage

Was there a point of a sequel to a movie that was just decent after all? This has all the makings of the usual crappy Disney film. Black and white heroes and villains, goofy characters, determined heroes and heroines, and even dance numbers on occasion courtesy of Julie Andrews which would have been a very nice homage, had it not been brought down by the non-talents of Raven Simone. No one here comes out unscathed, every character is goofy, irritating, and mind-numbing. They even make Ms. Andrews looks overly goofy among this funny farm.

The plot is nothing but the same rehashed scenes from the first film, mixed in with a snore inducing romance plot, and a lot of really nauseating gags, and there’s even the obligatory cameos from Disney alums Raven Simone, and Spencer Breslin. I’m trying to make sense of making a really bad sequel to a film that was just a waste of time after all. The sequel to the utterly sitcom-ish first film is just a complete rehash of the first re-told yet again. Mia suddenly, to create a purpose for the sequel, must marry someone or else she can not be queen of Genovia. The council of Genovia are debating on what allotted time she must be given and is ultimately given a thirty day window, just enough time to include the entire two hours you’ll waste.

Despite the antiquated and did I mention far-fetched notion that a woman needs a king to run a country, Mia still insists on looking for one because she wants to rule Genovia. But that doesn’t stop her from falling in love, which contradicts the whole independent queen vow, so then you just feel like you wasted your time for nothing. All this time though, I’m thinking to myself, where exactly is Genovia? It’s a small piece of land with a grand kingdom, some back lot villages, and some of its villagers sound Italian, some sound British, some Greek, and some unusually American, a veritable mixed bag cultures just so none are the wiser. The movie is utterly chaotic and scattered with flat jokes and outtakes happening all over the place.

There are also a range of irritating characters from the maiden’s, to John Rhys Davies’ character who is the conniving villain, and his nephew (Chris Pine) who makes up the love interest. He’s a very unlikable character who shows no redeeming aspects, but we’re supposed to root for them because the girls will think he’s good-looking. One of the many things I despise about romantic comedies are the musical montages and there are indeed montages; leave it to Garry Marshall to milk this for all it’s worth with two very long montages. Marshall never met cliché he didn’t like. Despite Anne Hathaway’s undeniable charm, appeal, and incredible beauty, the film is a colossal waste of time appropriate of Disney to supply its target audience with. Terrible acting, recycled gags, zero plot, and nothing worth salvaging, this is worth passing.