Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween (2018)

The first “Goosebumps” movie was a big surprise for me. While I was against it being a fluid narrative and not an anthology or adaptation of one of the books, it ended up being a great, heartfelt, and genuinely fun horror comedy. And Jack Black as RL Stine was such a nice little addition that helped what was essentially a love letter to RL Stine’s imagination. It pains me to say that, like a lot of others, I just did not like “Goosebumps 2.” It’s not only the fact that it tosses out a lot of what made the original film so much fun, but it also completely recycles the premise from the first film with a monster apocalypse… except, you know, on Halloween.

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Airborne (1993)


Director Rob Bowman’s 1993 inline skating dramedy “Airborne” is the most nineties-est film of the entire decade, and damn it, I love it. It’s so 90’s, it automatically cancels out “Empire Records” and “Clueless,” combined. I suspect Warner and Bowman expected to begin a brand new nationwide rad inline skating craze with “Airborne,” by pandering to their love for all things extreme and edgy of the sport. Including long hair, surfing, flannel, hockey, and an extreme final race that’s so extreme it’s extra-eme.

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Shark Tale (2004)


I’m as to Will Smith’s real appeal these days. Every role he’s in, he basically plays himself, and in “Shark Tale”, Will Smith plays Will Smith… as a fish; How incredibly original. Oscar, his character is very superficial. He has no real redeeming qualities, is more based on his personality than actually making him a three-dimensional character with traits, and never really convinces me that I should like him, and I ended up liking Lenny (Jack Black) much more. Every other character is just there to pop jokes in now and again.

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Envy (2004)


Here’s my pitch for a product: A spray that causes really bad movies to vaporize into air. The first victim I’d choose for the spray would be “Envy”. This is a heaping helping pile of excrement. “Envy” is purely and utterly awful and I just don’t know where a plot with such potential, and a cast of great actors could have possibly taken a turn for the worst. Now, if I’m not mistaken, this is a comedy… isn’t it? Or at least it was supposed to be. Well there were Jack Black, Ben Stiller, and Amy Poehler, and yet I didn’t laugh once.

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