Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003)

legally_blonde_2I liked “Legally Blonde”. I thought it was a very cute, very fluffy piece of comedy, I thought Reese Witherspoon was adorable for the most part and the characters were cute including Selma Blair whom played the resident villain, but “Legally Blonde” was based on a true story, and I really doubt this ever happened. The opening recalls the events of the first film through the three supporting female characters, Elle Wood’s friends, looking through a photo album, it’s sort of a sub-conscious message to the audience from the writers and director: “You liked the first film, right? well, this isn’t as good… but the first one was cute.”

Well, to say this takes liberties with its accuracy of politics and government would be an understatement with this film that is just based around a homosexual theme. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but come on, this film is based on that theme. Taking her cue from the first hit film, Elle Woods is still the ditzy, blonde, pink wearing, bubble head who is surprisingly working now at an esteemed law firm, when she attempts to find her dog Bruiser’s birth parents (huh?) for her upcoming wedding to Emmett Richmond, she accidentally stumbles onto an animal testing facility in Versaci headquarters. No, not the Versaci you and I know, but another Versaci (Whew! no lawsuit there). Elle is then fired from her job after proposing a lawsuit against the company and their shady dealings and decides to go to Washington to rally for a bill against animal cruelty.

Okay, her heart’s in the right place, and I’m all for animal rights, but as is the case, everyone in Washington is the uptight, straight laced workers who just want to get down to work, and Elle is the ditzy, bubble headed oddball who changes everyone for the better… or does she? So, what the studio does here is give the character of Woods supporting characters galore, some of which are played by great actors. There’s the always likable Regina King who is the sort of substitute villain for Selma Blair who is missing this time around. King is always good in every one of her roles, but I enjoyed Selma Blair a lot more because she has a special charisma, and then there’s Bob Newhart who has nothing to do in this film. He plays a doorman who bonds with Elle, and mysteriously appears wherever she is and doesn’t seem to have a job. He’s never given a chance to be funny here and half the time looks purely miserable, and it’s a shame, because Newhart would have stolen the show, there’s Sally Field, who, for the life of me, I can’t figure out why she’s in here, serves as the resident villain.

There’s Luke Wilson who barely has a role here as Emmett who was a good love interest in the first film but barely appears in here without a storyline. Jennifer Coolidge tops off the list of actors put to waste here as well as the legal team in which Elle is assigned which would have made room for some quirky interaction between her and different characters, but alas they’re barely ever shown here, and somehow seem to take a liking to her considering her tendency to be shrill and annoying. Now, I’m not a politics major, but last I heard it takes years for a bill to be passed in office in Washington, and I mean years, but in here it’s done in the course of three months or so, or that’s how I guessed.

So, we’re supposed to trudge through these horrible unfunny gags such as the fact that Elle hands in pink proposals but wants to be taken seriously, still maintains her innocence throughout the backstabbing, and a terrible subplot with her dog who happens to be of the homosexual persuasion. The film is laden with many unfunny subplots and gags while we lose focus on the character of Elle. She was a pretty, funny, innocent character in the first film with a knack for law, but here we barely ever see her practicing her skills in law and just hovers around people never doing any work, so it becomes hard to understand why she would be such a successful lawyer in the first place.

She doesn’t give much of an argument with her constant wardrobe changes and accentuated personality which makes her innocently cute to very annoying, and there’s even a really annoying dance number halfway through, yes a dance number. But would it have been so bad to have a funny film with Elle as a serious but naive lawyer? Obviously not. So, the script continues taking liberties with its plot revolving around Washington with a lot of inaccuracies about law and far-fetched plot twists such as meetings and rallies that somehow never have security and scenes where the audience stands up and applauds, and do people really care if a congressman’s dog is gay?

In all of the film’s cheesy inoffensive fluffy exterior lies a film that just doesn’t get how to be funny or likable with everything going exactly how it should, people becoming nice, having changes of hearts and cheering Elle’s odd behavior, but it alienates anyone who isn’t female or homosexual and makes it a rancid piece of fluff that not a lot of people will respond to. So, again, this is yet another wasted, cheesy and terrible sequel to a pretty good film, and here comes “Legally Blonde 3”. This is just embarrassing, a simply and utterly embarrassing attempt to market money from a charming film. Far-fetched, naive, corny, and just plain ridiculous, this is a terrible sequel.