Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat (2003)


We received an onslaught of merchandising and advertising once this bomb was released, and the cat in the hat was literally everywhere you looked, an obvious sign of studios spending too much money on a crappy film, when it could have been spent on a better film. The filmmakers don’t call it “The Cat in the Hat”, they call it “Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat”, just to assure everyone this definitely is the book their children and their children’s children read. This is not, however, Dr. Seuss. It’s an embarrassment.

This really does embarrass the memory of Dr. Seuss, who, if you listen closely, is rolling in his grave. Meyers’ body suit makes him look twenty pounds heavier instead of the lean original Cat, he looks nothing like a cat instead, yet looks like a perverted mental patient who broke free from Bellevue and killed someone sneaking into their costume. He bears the accent not of a distinguished Seussian creation who once approached chaos with sheer normality, but of his signature character Linda Richman from “Coffee Talk.”

Not to mention the facial expressions he makes, looking into the camera like “Aren’t I funny? See what I’m doin?” along with the laugh from Austin Powers. Here, the hyper-active cat is so wild and off the wall that we never ever attempt to find something appealing about him and his antics which wear thin after two seconds. The movie is loud, the plot never slows down and completely focuses on the cat who never relaxes, activity that never stops, and scenery’s blinding.

Most of the cat’s jokes rely on flatulence, bodily humor, unnecessary toilet humor and sexually suggestive material. There is also very disturbing imagery like thing one and thing two (very creepy creatures) riding the babysitter’s body down the stairs, the badly animated fish. The writers also manage to concoct a range of forgettable bland, musical numbers, and gags that border on repulsive. “The Cat In the Hat” is offensively bad, both as an adaptation and as a kids film and should by no means be considered family fodder.