The New Guy (2002)

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Dizzy Harrison (D.J. Qualls) is an unpopular geek at Rock Creek High School and after an embarrassing accident with an erection, he decides to transfer schools but makes an oath to be a new man at his new school. He meets Luther (Eddie Griffith) a convict in a prison who decides to help him and teach him how to be cool and intimidate people, but can he pull it off when Rocky Creek students recognize him? “The New Guy” has barely any chuckles in it and has a ton of moments when you’re supposed to suspend logic and common sense. Why the character Dizzy would equate being a convict with popularity is beyond me.

Everyone else seems to believe it too, ultimately fearing him because he appears in a Lecter-esque fashion in front of the entire school (how convenient). The movie also has a lot of these unnecessary, corny and basically meaningless celebrity cameos from ex/popular rappers and actors and such which I saw no real reason for except to have people point and smile. There are a ton of plot holes that left me scratching my head an pretty damn frustrated. Why couldn’t they see the car pulling the motorcycle? Why did Nora get upset when Dizzy pretended not to know them when she obviously knew he was pretending for the popularity? Skinny dork in last high school changes his hair color, grows a goatee and now he’s the dangerous sexy skinny dork.

I don’t see where he would change the most. If only life were that easy. Eddie Griffith was highly promoted as having a major role in the move yet only appears for a good twenty minutes. His parts are probably the funniest, but they could have been longer. Zooey Deschanel is also grossly underused and misused with her character. I never believed she would hang out with these guys nor would she have any trouble making friends. D.J. Qualls is adequate giving the right amount ineptitude within his character, letting the audience believe that he is a geek, and co-star Eliza Dushku is a lot of fun to look at as she’s mostly in the movie for his romantic interest. When all is said and done, “The New Guy” is lame, hokey, filled with plot holes, and cursed with a lazy script.