DUDE, WE'RE RE-WRITING THE PHANTOM MENACE!
Written by
Felix Vasquez Jr.

 

PADAWAN OBI WAN KENOBI
In the original movie we're given only a hint of Kenobi's darkside when he defies the code of the Jedi and kills Darth Maul in the heat of battle. In this movie we'd explore the character of Kenobi with more depth. Not every Jedi is dead set on doing good. Everyone has a darkside. As a Padawan he's stubborn, headstrong and intent on seeing what potential Anakin Skywalker holds even if it means defying his master Yoda. Kenobi is also a bit irresponsible which accounts to him eventually losing hold of Anakin in the future and watching him drip in to the darkside of the force. Like Anakin in the future he is anxious to prove himself as a Jedi Master, thus he defies Yoda's good sense and stands up to the Jedi Council insisting that he can train Anakin with great success. In the climax when Obi Wan does face off with Darth Maul he kills Maul in the heat of battle and is forced to confront his harsh error in battle. He's completely stood against everything he was taught in the beginning and now he's killed someone. Is he really prepared to teach a potentially powerful apprentice? Kenobi is still the valiant hero, but he is one who is not sure where he stands in this prophecy, but he's willing to sacrifice it all to show the council that he can train someone and make them proud.

YODA
Yoda doesn't just have a small role here as he does in Lucas's "The Phantom Menace." Yoda was just a way to remind people that we were honestly watching a Star Wars movie. Thankfully he gets a larger role in the formation of the Jedi order in the remainder of the series, but in our version, Yoda is training Obi-Wan Kenobi. Though he does have faith that Kenobi can be a formative Jedi Knight, he doesn't have faith that he can train Anakin Skywalker in spite of his insistence. Yoda is hesitant to let his Padawan mature in to a Jedi Knight so early in the game, and there's a bit of friction between them that keeps them at odds with one another. Yoda is the person who discovers Anakin, senses his ability and refuses to let him be trained as a Jedi Knight. Obi-Wan manages to convince the council and Yoda approves the training in spite of his nagging bad vibes that Anakin can only spell doom for the Jedi order. Yoda doesn't do battle here, but he does play a big role in deciding the fate of his Padawan Kenobi and Anakin.

R2-D2
R2-D2 is another character from the original series that didn't have to be included. I love him (assuming the droid is a him, mind you) just as much as everyone else, and I rooted for his survival in the rest of the prequels, but was there really a point in having him in "The Phantom Menace"? He shows up to save the ship and is immediately treated with care for something that is required of him. From there on he serves no purpose but to interact with a pre-armored C3P0 and just stand at a distance watching the events unfold. The watcher is the most important aspect of any story, but not until something actually starts to happen. Until then, he and his gold counterpart are best left for the later movies.

C3P0
There was really no point in featuring C3P0 beyond Lucas wanting to squeeze in as many characters from the original trilogy as possible. C3P0 only served the purpose to show up for a little while, make it apparent that he would appear in the series and then be completely ignored until the rest of the trilogy. C3P0 doesn't show up in this version because he has nothing to do in it. Showing up for a minute wouldn't serve any function to my plot, so he'd only appear in the sequel where we're able to put him to good use. I never really bought that Anakin built him, anyway. Especially when the Jawas are around that planet selling stolen bots. What's the point?

JAR JAR BINKS
Jar Jar Binks? Who's Jar Jar Binks? As far as we know he's now just a background character who walks from one side of the screen to the other. The whole Jar Jar storyline made no sense whatsoever, and we're still trying to decide why Lucas created him other than to sell toys and teddy bears. We'd take any of the Ewoks over Jar Jar any day of the week. Trust me, if Lucas actually made this movie realistic Jar Jar would honestly not make it past the first twenty minutes. He's THAT pathetic. Jar Jar is the Screech of the "Star Wars" universe. There's no actual reason he would hang out with the cool kids, so don't try to sell us on that.

BUT DON'T TAKE OUR WORD FOR IT: THE BEST "PHANTOM MENACE" REVIEW OF ALL TIME
It's a Youtube video and it's a seven part dissection of the cinematic blunder that is "The Phantom Menace." After the saga finally ended, I spent hours reading reviews from websites about the series and only four months ago did I discover this video series/review of "The Phantom Menace" that gets down to the core problems of the movie and the prequels. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxKtZmQgxrI

 

<<<GO BACK TO PART ONE OF OUR PHANTOM MENACE RE-BOOT


2/4/10

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