“Battledogs,”is a film that demonstrates the fine art of retooling a movie and having a good time doing it. In this instance, Writer Phillip Van Dyke retreads 2008’s “The Incredible Hulk” but tailors it more for werewolves. Every plot device and moment in the film is shamelessly derived from the 2008 action film. Hell, there’s even a moment where one of the infected humans is kicked out of a helicopter in mid-air and sent crashing in to the Earth as it transforms in to the rabid werewolf.
Back in the golden days of cable television, Syfy–known as the Sci Fi channel–was rather entertaining. I’d sometimes sit down in front of the television and watch it all day long basking in stuff like “The Twilight Zone,” that horrible show “Sightings,” and “Lost in Space,” while Saturdays brought cartoons, and anime. These days, though, I barely ever want to watch it unless there’s a marathon of “Firefly,” or a crappy television movie on, and even then it’s debatable. I don’t WANT to see “Lake Placid 6,” but… I couldn’t keep from watching it when it premiered! The reason for my hatred of Syfy is because, I have them to thank for my exposure to short independent films.
If you’re one who is thinking “Arachnoquake? That sounds stupid,” then congratulations on displaying wisdom well beyond your years. “Arachnoquake” is a movie that sounds good on page, but when you see it, there’s just so much to hate about it that you can’t even take it at face value as a movie intended on being so bad it’s good. The movie is painfully self-aware to the point where you almost expect a laugh track to follow the “gags” staged. Meanwhile the writer behind the film is well beyond in over his head providing a three pronged story that jumps from sub-plot to sub-plot without resolving either, all the while ripping off films like “Jeepers Creepers 2,” “Children of Men,” “Deep Blue Sea,” “The Mist,” and “Piranha.” There are so much plot elements staged that are never touched upon or resolved, you could list them all in a whole review.
The movies on the Sci Fi Channel suck hard; everyone knows that.
From sea to shining sea, it’s become common knowledge these days that about eighty percent of what’s shown on the Sci Fi Channel is likely to be utterly unwatchable, while the rest of it is just mediocre nonsense that not even the geekiest fan boys bother with. And I refer to the early films only.
Their showings of their “original” films that they tag as Sci Fi products are all retreaded rehashed TV movie of the week schlock, too stupid for NBC or ABC. They all rely on formulas of a consistent routine of giant monsters, killer bugs, undersea creatures, faux-action features, superheroes, disaster pictures revolving around a natural occurrence or the apocalypse, and bargain basement fantasy with CGI that was old hat in 1998.