Bones (2001) [Blu-Ray]

Once artist Snoop Dogg became a gangster rap icon, he inevitably branched out in the early aughts in to bigger pastures. Before he became a family friendly talk show host, he was someone who promoted the image of the pimp, and then became an open advocate for cannabis. In between those hazy days in his late career, Snoop Dogg (or someone in his PR team) decided that they should try to re-condition him in to a horror character. The inevitable product was “Bones” an utterly tepid, dull horror vanity vehicle from the man that gave us “Demon Knight.”

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Verotika (2019)

Once in a while, the stars align and the moon shines bright enough to where a bonafide cult classic of horror cinema is born. Out of the absolute depths abysmal cinema comes one of the most laughable and painfully awful horror movies of the year. From rock icon Glenn Danzig, no less, comes his directorial debut, a live action adaptation of his comic book series “Verotik,” a title that mixes erotica and violence in to one monster. That wouldn’t be such a bad idea for an anthology. But someone forgot to tell Danzig that if you want to direct a movie, you probably should know how to operate a camera, first.

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Five Horror Villains I want to See Come Back

This month, fans got a glimpse at the up and coming return of “Candyman,” and by all accounts it’s a movie that promises to give us a fresh horrific return in to the world of nineties maniac once again. The famed horror icon is back and angrier than ever and the horror community is excited to see the hook handed demon return. With that said, here are five other horror villains I hope to see make a return very soon, as they’ve all been stuck in limbo for a while.

Which horror maniac would you choose to make a comeback to the big screen?

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Pet Sematary Two (1992): Collector’s Edition [Blu-Ray]

After the success of Mary Lambert’s adaptation of Stephen King’s “Pet Sematary,” Paramount sought out to deliver a sequel, despite the original leaving no room for one. Every single character died in the first movie, and no one is really the wiser about the whole zombie shenanigans that ensued in the climax. Lo and behold though, Paramount delivers on a sequel that centers on a whole new series of characters, all of whom are somehow obsessed with the mythical Native American burial ground tucked behind a seemingly harmless Pet Sematary.

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Brahms: The Boy II (2020)

“The Boy II” is one of the most inexplicable horror movies released in 2020 so far. The surprise success of the abysmal “The Boy” from 2016 (made cheap, producing big bucks) prompted the studio to make a follow up and franchise. And for some reason the writers and producers decide to completely retcon and reboot the entire mythos and story that was established from the original movie. Rather than stick to their successful formula, the original writer and director come back to reconfigure “The Boy” in to a limp, dull, and incredibly tedious “Annabelle” facsimile. It embraces all of the haunted doll clichés that’s become so common in this sub-genre wholesale, and completely ignores the 2016 horror drama.

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Dark Whispers, Volume 1 (2019) [Final Girls Berlin Festival]

Megan Riakos’s anthology “Dark Whispers” touts itself as a horror film with tales directed solely by women. The last film “XX” that explored the concept was a swing a miss, so I had my doubts this time. Thankfully “Dark Whispers, Volume 1” is a very good anthology with some outstanding horror shorts that often feels episodic like “Vault of Horror” and “Tales from the Darkside: The Movie.” The gallery of female filmmakers on display here are all sharp storytellers, and bring something new and unique to the table that frighten while also evoking genuine emotions every now and then.

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When “Hansel & Gretel” were Ass kicking Witch Hunters

Hollywood loves to look for new angles on public domain fairy tales and intellectual properties. They’re always looking for a platform for a brand new franchise, and they either go the horror route or the action route. If one fails, they automatically revert to the other a few years later. “Cinderella” and “Snow White” have been brought to the big and small screen as pseudo-horror movies and action bonanzas, with varying degrees of success. The one fairy tale that hasn’t dodged the massive overhaul for a new generation is “Hansel and Gretel.”

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White Snake (Bái Shé: Yuán Qǐ) (2019) [Blu-ray/DVD]

I originally checked out “White Snake” when it was at the Fantasia Film Festival last year, and it’s not what I’d call the best anime movie to open 2020 with. While I love and appreciate the brilliant animation, “White Snake” is somewhat of a shallow and dull anime epic that packs in a lot of sub-genres and themes involving demons, war, the supernatural, dragons, and a very exhaustive reliance on ancient mythology. It would probably help the experience of “White Snake,” but having to do research to enjoy a movie is not appealing, even for movies that garner my interest.

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