If you’re one of the many KISS fans that have always wondered what a sequel to “KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park” would look like, look no further. “Scooby Doo Meets KISS” should be more aptly titled “KISS Meets the Crimson Witch featuring Scooby Doo.” In all honesty, while this is primarily a cartoon for the Scooby Doo franchise, the majority of the film is based around KISS and their magical presences. Even the opening sequence is comprised of wonderful animated KISS montages with “Rock and Roll All Night” playing rather than the Scooby Doo theme song.
Only many, many years later did Hanna Barbera begin presenting the Mystery Machine gang with actual supernatural threats once their audience matured. But even when facing actual zombies, and demons they were never really in actual danger. Director Spencer Parsons completely dodges copyright infringement while cleverly spoofing the iconic cartoon show with his own version of Scooby Doo. This time he offers up a more realistic group of crime solvers in a world where crime is very dangerous, and the police kindly ask them to “fuck off” whenever they solve a case on their own.
When it comes to hardcore well versed Scooby Doo Fans… we’re not one of them. But for a brief (oh so brief) period in the late nineties, Hanna Barbera thought it’d be a good idea before the live action movie to feature the Scoobies solving actual paranormal cases that they presumed were originally just scams and con jobs. “Zombie Island” is one of the best (and few) examples of Scooby-Doo done well and correctly with a case the entire gang gets in on that is creepy and actually risks their lives, in the end. With animation I’m never above being experimental, and my faith in “Zombie Island” was rewarded with a wicked and creepy little yarn about the Mystery Machine group re-uniting after a long stretch on their own.
I have never had fun watching Casper and as a rule my mom made sure to play his series for my brother and I when we were bored out of our skulls. I never understood why because Casper always left us on the verge of tears; we never had a laugh watching Casper’s adventures because there was nothing funny about it. To be honest, I always avoided Casper because there’s simply nothing more traumatic than watching the spirit of a dead child who can not fit in to the human world, try to make friends only to be turned down and run away from. Why the hell does this character even exist?! Who in their right minds ever thought the spirit of a dead kid would serve as fun family fare? It really just wants to make you blow your brains out.
Okay, readers, pop quiz from yours truly. You’re a Hollywood exec (sorry to insult you, but bear with me, I’m getting somewhere with this), and you help get a movie in to theaters that’s barely watchable, what do you do? Do you a) leave it alone to rot on shelves and move on? b) do you remake it? or c) do you give it a crappy sequel? If you chose A or B then you know nothing about Hollywood, because inevitably all this is is basically a crappy sequel to a crappy movie, the problem is while the first film was without a doubt crappy, it was mildly entertaining, but this, this is just brutal.
“Let’s get jinkie with it.” Yes, folks, this is actual dialogue from the movie that is spouted by the “smartest” of the characters, Velma. The characters are poorly cast, including Daphne, who, played by Sarah Michelle Gellar, looks nothing like her animated counterpart, Freddy, played by the atrocious actor Freddie Prinze Jr. has little command or charisma so it’s hard to take him seriously at all. Matthew Lillard is good as Shaggy but fails to gives the squeaky voice that Shaggy provides in the cartoons. Scooby is poorly animated and just looks weird and nothing like the original dog. At times he gives these odd expressions which made me furrow my brows a lot.