Evil Ways of Love (1972) (DVD)

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This is the story of Andy, a man who was cheated on by his wife. So he got himself a boat called Evil Ways and took to the seas to look for booty. Literal booty of course. While there he comes across a gorgeous blond woman who is keen to his womanizing and helps him invite some partiers to feast lunch meat, and cheap beer while swapping partners. What’s a guy to do? When will Andy stop this hollow existence of sleeping with beautiful women?

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42nd Street Forever: The Peep Show Collection Vol. 10 (DVD)

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Vanessa Del Rio is back for the tenth installment of “42nd Street Forever: The Peep Show Collection”; a smattering of reels and loops from the golden age of porn that titillates and arouses in its rare moments. This installment is a hundred minutes of the best shorts from the grindhouse era, starring folks like Del Rio, Jessie St. James and Susan Nero.

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42nd Street Forever: The Peep Show Collection Vol. 9 (DVD)

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The “42nd Street Forever” group are at it again with another series of loops that are within the two hour range altogether. They feature an assortment of silent porn shorts from group, girl on girl and girl on boy and garner some of the hottest porn stars of the eighties including Kandi Barbour, Aunt Peg, CJ Laing, and Vanessa Del Rio. Continue reading

Monster of the Nudist Colony (2013)

MoNCCan you really call it a nudist colony if it’s comprised of eight people total? I was never quite sure, but I wish nudist colonies actually looked like this. Based on documentaries I’ve seen about nudist colonies, it’s not all comprised of people like Lexi Belle bouncing around and scampering like a pixie. And I’d wager it’s not filled with hedonistic orgies and drunken parties. But I guess that’s the fun of “Monster of the Nudist Colony.” Everything about it is so ridiculous that it comprises a surreal and amusing experience. At the seemingly deserted Circle Double D’s Nudist Colony, a monstrous ape begins wreaking havoc on the residents, rushing out from the woods to terrorize them mid-coitus and little else.

The ape is also collecting the gorgeous women from the Colony for its own nefarious purposes, too. Like making them dance for him. This oddly enough gets back to detective Arch Hammer, who is investigating the ape attacks, and celebrates the case by diddling his gorgeous wife, as played by Melissa Jacobs. Now they plan to go undercover as nudists to investigate, and sleep with just about every resident in the colony. Considering there’s only under a dozen people staying in this luxurious ranch, that’s not much of a task.

Two my favorite aspects of “Monster of the Nudist Colony” is the viciously bad acting, and the deliriously laughable soundtrack. Comprised of soft jazz and oddly self aware rock music, Robbie Breastnut composes much of the hilarious soundtrack that plays over the softcore sex scenes. It’s worth keeping the sound up if only to hear the ridiculous lyrics and wonder if she’s in on the joke, or is actually serious with this soundtrack. Breastnut even appears as a local officer who does nothing but lounge around in a skimpy police uniform and come very close to blowing her own brains out. As for the acting, there isn’t a single competent performance in the group.

Considering this is mainly just a movie for the gorgeous women to strip and grope one another in tame girl on girl, I doubt acting was a big requirement. Nevertheless the furiously bad acting provides the most laughter. You have to see the random girl on girl mid-way where performer Hannah Reilly literally struggles to get through her scenes and finish her lines without tripping up. I’ll place money it took at least ten takes to finish her portion. “Monster of the Nudist Colony” is a trippy bit of softcore soft horror, and is worth watching for the self-awareness brought to the horrific production quality and sheer non-existent plot. Plus, you can’t hate anything featuring Lexi Belle too much.

The Walking Dead: A Hardcore Parody (2013)

yzkqIMqAs a hardcore geek of Robert Kirkman’s “The Walking Dead,” the cover for Burning Angel’s parody of the show is incorrect and irritating. They mimic the poster for season two of the series, and feature most of the cast on Dale’s RV, and yet instead of Dale, we have Michonne in his place. I’m sure it was never their intention to have a bowl hatted seventy year old getting in to a threesome with Michonne and Andrea, but I’m sure there could have been a better way around it. And a “The Walking Dead” porn version without a XXX Maggie performer? Missed opportunity, Burning Angel. Joanna Angel does star as Lori, so it’s not a complete loss, all things considered.

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Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders (2011)

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To be honest, I’m not even sure how to approach this film in any critical sense. The movie opens with character Angie emerging from a pool and narrating the movie. But–is she a narrator? Or a host? Is this supposed to spoof reality show, or is this an actual story? Director Jim Wynorski (as Sam Pepperman) can never really seem to care at all, so he basically just throws whatever sticks to the wall, and distracts us for seventy five minutes with soft core scenes of busty women being drilled, and busty women having sex with other busty women.

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Blood of 1,000 Virgins (2013)

Fine, Nikki Leigh. I’ll marry you. You don’t have to seduce me with your eyes. Surely, no one can replace Mistress Elvira, but Full Moon Grindhouse puts up a good argument for it, by bringing along Playboy Playmate Nikki Leigh to host their newest compilation. Now available for fans of Grindhouse and exploitation cinema, “Blood of 1,000 Virgins” is a fun and hilarious trailer compilation of some of the most iconic and dumbest films ever made. And they’re all about virgins, losing your virginity, and rape.

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Vanessa Del Rio: Fifty Years of Slightly Slutty Behavior (2007)

E9tWqbaVanessa Del Rio has slept with a lot of guys. And girls. And she was a prostitute. And you know what? She’s not ashamed of her past. Not a single bit. You have to admire her for that. And to top it off, she’s not vehemently opposed to sleeping with you if it tickles her fancy either. That’s the general point of “Fifty Years of Slightly Slutty Behavior,” the notion that Vanessa Del Rio has slept with a lot of men and is not ashamed to admit that she’s loved every minute of it. While most porn stars in her age have all but renounced their pasts and forgotten their roots, she’s still the ravishingly down to Earth porn vixen who remembers every fuck and is not afraid to mention in detail most of her escapades.

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