The Walking Dead: A Hardcore Parody (2013)

yzkqIMqAs a hardcore geek of Robert Kirkman’s “The Walking Dead,” the cover for Burning Angel’s parody of the show is incorrect and irritating. They mimic the poster for season two of the series, and feature most of the cast on Dale’s RV, and yet instead of Dale, we have Michonne in his place. I’m sure it was never their intention to have a bowl hatted seventy year old getting in to a threesome with Michonne and Andrea, but I’m sure there could have been a better way around it. And a “The Walking Dead” porn version without a XXX Maggie performer? Missed opportunity, Burning Angel. Joanna Angel does star as Lori, so it’s not a complete loss, all things considered.

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Movie 43 (2013)

Maybe they were right after all. Maybe in order to be successful in Hollywood you have to sell your soul. Maybe the entire cast of “Movie 43” made a deal with Lucifer trading success for their souls. And then one day Lucifer had a great idea for a comedy movie. And then rather than doom every one of these stars to eternal damnation being raped and tortured by demons for all of time, he collected on their souls by making them star in his idea for his comedy movie entitled “Movie 43.” He sent them his script idea and they could really do nothing but agree to star in this movie collectively, rather than rebel against their dark lord and master that granted them the price of being household names. That has to be the explanation for “Movie 43.” Damn, that just has to be. The notion that the stars of “Movie 43” thought this could have been a good comedy at all is unfathomable and incredibly mind-blowing.

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The Breakfast Club XXX (2009)

3cddrfQCurrently the two best porn spoof directors working today is Axel Braun, who is the Hitchcock of the finely timed comic jab set to the fuck fest, and of course Lee Roy Myers who not only directed some fine porn spoofs like “The Big Lebowski XXX,” but also managed to take one of the finest teen dramas of all time and turned it in to a damn fine porn spoof of its very own entitled “The Breakfast Club XXX.” Not only is this a film that ponders on the bigger questions behind the original 1980’s masterpiece, but also manages to delve in to the finer aspects of said questions. For example, what happened when Estevez saw the Goth chick now an average beauty queen? Why, he took her in to the back and fucked the ever loving god out of her, that’s what he did.

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Driller: A Sexual Thriller (1984)

Oh boy I knew I was in for something special when I received “Driller” in the mail with the address barely completed and the return address basically missing. The very fact X Rated Alley received this beauty of a horror porno called Driller is one thing, but to deliver it in mysterious packaging is the icing on the cake. I had an idea of what I getting in to upon looking at the deluxe packaging for Mr. Creepo’s “Driller” from 1984, a veritable porno spoof (and carefully constructed one at that so as to prevent legal issues) of Michael Jackson’s iconic Thriller. For those unaware (and how could you not be?), Thriller was a cultural sensation of the eighties and continues to be the go to for the template for epic music videos to this day. The plot basically boils down to a thirty minute movie that doubles as an amazing music video with a catchy song. A young couple in a movie theater walk home one night and find themselves in the middle of a zombie apocalypse and must fight their way out. Cue one of the most amazing musical numbers of all time, a shockingly incredible dance number involving drooling groaning zombies, and compelling narration from Vincent Price.

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Superman XXX: A Porn Parody (2011)

Able to leap tall booties in a single bound, it’s Superman XXX! As a long time Superman fan since the age of five, I’ve found myself oddly intrigued by what they could do with a Superman related porno movie. Batman and Wonder Woman are easy targets for porn parodies. Batman’s entire shtick is based around black outfits and hanging around young girls and boys in caves, while Wonder Woman’s entire crime fighting routine is based on bondage and wrapping men in rope to get them to do and say what she wants. She’s the original dominatrix. But Superman is a tougher concept mainly because he’s such a boy scout it’s tough to imagine anything with Superman even remotely pornographic.

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Official Psycho Parody (2011)

Porn parodies are everywhere. Right now with the industry looking for customers porn parodies are what’s in and surely enough they’re big money makers and headline grabbers. It’s just shocking that somewhere down the road someone thought “Psycho” would make a good porn parody. I mean who would have thought a movie about a cross dressing psychopath with an obsessive Oedipus complex and possible incestuous relationship with his mother who mutilated hapless female travelers would make for something of an entertaining and arousing porn flick. Factoring in the thought that “Psycho” was already a fairly sexual film with thick overtones and a sexually repressed man who could only react to an attraction to a woman with aggressive homicidal behavior, and you’re already headed for a dead end. “The Official Psycho Parody” is up for the challenge though as a movie that seems to try very hard to mimic the style and atmosphere of Hitchcock’s masterpiece, while also presenting it’s obvious purpose for being a hardcore porno first and foremost.

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Batman XXX: A Porn Parody (2010)

batman_xxxI mean it when I say that “Batman XXX: A Porn Parody” is without a doubt one of the best pornos I’ve ever seen. And it’s also the best porn parody to date. The Adam West Batman show was always a series mired in strong overtones of sexuality. Even when appealing to children primarily, the show had a strong sexual element due to its creation which set it down in the free spirit, free loving decade of the sixties where sexual experimentation ran rampant, and the go go era bred a new awakening, experimentation and dabbling in areas of our sexuality we once deemed taboo. There was very little separation from “Batman” with “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls” aside from the rampant drug use and boozing. Tonally, they were so incredibly similar with kinetic energy and dizzying color schemes.

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The Big Lebowski: A XXX Parody (2010)

21The review of “The Big Lebowski” porn parody was a long time coming… no, I must keep going. Anyway, this review is long overdue for the simple fact that upon watching the PG-13 trailer for the porn parody of one of the greatest films of all time, I found myself mighty giddy at the prospect of a porn parody of the Coen Brothers film. Sure half of the time porn parodies are just lame excuses to grab money from consumers, but on other times, we get “The Big Lebowski a XXX Parody” a hilarious and inventive porn spoof that is 65 percent parody of the original films, and 35 percent hardcore porno. And I guarantee if you’ve seen the original films a thousand times over like I have, you’ll get a kick out of the subtle and not so subtle changes to the original film for porno consumers.

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