The 5 Worst Films of 2019

I spend a lot more of my time looking for movies I want to see these days, so admittedly I was able to dodge a lot of awful films in 2019. With the abundance of avenues to new movies it’s nearly impossible for one person to view it all, so out of the movies I was able to catch in 2019, these are five of the absolute worst that were unleashed on movie goers and movie buffs. Excluded but genuinely considered for the list were The Reliant, Men in Black: International, 47 Meters Down: Uncaged, Netflix’s Rim of the World, The Haunting of Sharon Tate, Long Shot, Kiss Kiss, and Dark Phoenix.

What were some of the worst from 2019 for you?

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Yesterday (2019) [Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital]

Director Danny Boyle and writer Richard Curtis have a fascinating premise for “Yesterday,” and when all is said and done, after two hours, they—have a fascinating premise. They don’t actually do much with it, in all honesty. They take what could have been a unique and bizarre tale about an iconic band completely inexplicably being erased from all of culture around the world and turn it in to a conventional tale of rags to riches. I mean the script does nothing with the idea of the Beatles not existing. What would happen to all the singers, performers, bands, and artists they inspired? Would they cease to exist as a whole? “Yesterday” barely scratches the surface at two hours.

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Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001): Criterion Collection [Blu-Ray]

The thing about cinema is that it’s an often very literal art form that takes what is often very metaphorical or performance art about stage productions and has a hard time supplanting it for the audience. For “Hedwig and the Angry Inch,” it’s a very good cult rock film that often feels like it has to be seen on stage in order to soak in the true experience. I’m not trying to take away what a cult classic John Cameron Mitchell’s musical drama is, but I couldn’t quite help but feel that “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” could have been much more appreciated as a live show.

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Rocketman (2019)

Another year, another mediocre big budget biopic, filled with Oscar aspirations, about a musical genius. I’m a huge fan of Elton John, and have been for years, but he deserves so much more than what is mainly just a serviceable musical drama about his life. While it gets credit for consciously dodging biopic tropes (and seems to also be a retort to “Bohemian Rhapsody” which openly shied away from Freddie Mercury’s sexuality), “Rocketman” only inspired me to re-visit his classic music.

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Cats (2019)

Twenty five years too late, “Cats” is that kind of Broadway hit that may have worked wonders on the stage but fails spectacularly when it’s given a very literal adaptation on screen (e.g. “Jersey Boys”). I say that as someone that’s never liked “Cats” or really ever seen the big deal behind it. I barely stayed awake during a production airing on PBS back in the mid-nineties, and I only fondly remember it thanks to a classic TV ad that played around the clock in the eighties and nineties. “Cats” has always been that production I hope studios would stop trying to put on to the big screen.

And sadly, here we are. Oh the horror.

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The Bootleg Files: The Dangerous Christmas of Red Riding Hood

BOOTLEG FILES 712: “The Dangerous Christmas of Red Riding Hood” (1965 television special starring Liza Minnelli).

LAST SEEN: On DailyMotion.com.

AMERICAN HOME VIDEO: On a highly dubious label.

REASON FOR BOOTLEG STATUS: The absence of the original color production.

CHANCES OF SEEING A COMMERCIAL DVD RELEASE:
Not likely at all.

During the 1960s, the Christmas season brought a glut of holiday-oriented productions to television. But for every “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” that became an instant classic, there were scores of efforts that never clicked with audiences and became quickly forgotten.
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You Have to See This! Anna and the Apocalypse (2018)

It’s hard to find many good zombie apocalypse Christmas musical comedies out there, but when you do, it’s a treat. John McPhall’s wonderful “Anna and the Apocalypse” is a great film teeming with massive cult potential that I think will big momentum soon. It’s that kind of movie warranting a big Broadway production a la “Rocky Horror.” On its own though, the Scottish born “Anna and the Apocalypse” is a great reprieve from the massive holiday rush. While the holiday season is filled with an overflow of maudlin movies, “Anna and the Apocalypse” is that right dose of holiday glee with some great zombie carnage to boot.

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A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019) [Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital]

Ten movies later, and “A Cinderella Story” continues to push forward as a franchise that is mainly just a vehicle for young up and coming female Disney stars. After Hilary Duff came and went, portraying a contemporary take on the fairytale, the series stomped on and now introduces a Christmas themed romance. It’s tough to review “Christmas Wish” as it’s mainly aimed toward teens that love this kind of sickly sweet Christmas muck. It’s basically like a greeting card with a pre-written message on it. It’s predictable, formula, and kind of hard to criticize.

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