Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf (2015)

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I bet you’re wondering the same thing. In order for a whalewolf to come to life should a werewolf bite a whale, or would a whale bite a werewolf? If a whale bit a human would it become a werewhale? Hey, the logic I’m posing is just as silly as the logic in “Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf,” a movie that’s much more fun than it has any right to be. Right off the bat, the thing to remember is the movie doesn’t take itself seriously at all. This is about a movie where a sharktopus are murdering people left and right and our main heroes aren’t all that emotionally distraught after the fact.

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The Babadook (2014)

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In a time where studios aim for shocks over substance, especially with the advent of the found footage sub-genre, it’s great to see a horror movie that’s horrifying and about something. Director Jennifer Kent’s first outing as a horror director is a downright flawless effort that doesn’t just shock audiences, but has a ton of subtext, and undertones that deserve to be examined by literally everyone. It’s not just a movie about a mother and son being terrorized by a monster, but a movie about the mother and son dynamic. More to the point, it’s about the birth of a child, and how blame can often be misplaced on the unborn child for circumstances beyond their control.

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Earth vs. the Spider (2001)

earthvsspider2001Director Scott Ziehl’s “Earth vs. The Spider” is an often overlooked and extremely obscure film, and for good reason. It’s a relative rip-off of David Cronenberg’s “The Fly,” and let’s face it: There’s no reason to call this movie “Earth vs. The Spider” at all. I fondly remember this being featured on Cinemax here in America in a Stan Winston horror movie showcase. His company rehashed American International Pictures films, but in name only. As is the case with “Earth vs. The Spider,” which isn’t a masterpiece, but isn’t bad for a hokey shamelessly derivative monster movie.

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Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1994)

msfrankensteinIt’s surprising how quickly “Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein” becomes a vanity project for director Kenneth Branagh. Rather than a tale of a monster wreaking havoc on his master, the film feels more like Jane Austen co-starring the monster who is kind of a nuisance and then becomes a threat to his creator. I’ve rarely seen Frankenstein movies where the creature is the third banana, but lo and behold Branagh pulls it off in what is more a film about Victor Frankenstein having a lover’s spat with his wife, who discovers her husband has committed some evil selfish acts. To his credit though, Victor Frankenstein is no hero. He’s selfish, self-centered, and has a God complex, but Branagh is very obsessed with chewing the scenery. So much so that he even manages to outdo Robert DeNiro.

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Bride of the Monster (1955)

bride-monsterThis is the story of a man, his giant, and an Octopus. And the man’s experiments involving kidnapping people and turning them in to—something. I think giants. Let’s go with giants. Said doctor also has a fondness for his giant octopus which, whenever he decides to leave his lab, comes across the octopus that seems to gleam at him from behind his glass. The doctor often smiles and waxes poetic about his friend that he hopes will never murder him in a shallow pool of cold swamp water. The thing I like about Ed Wood’s movies is that his villains just aren’t very smart.

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Zarkorr! The Invader (1996)

It’s pretty clear directors Michael Deak & Aaron Osborne either created a giant Kaiju movie with a sense of humor, or a Kaiju movie that is actually a spoof of Godzilla. There can be no other reason to explain the inadvertent comedy and utterly atrocious performances in “Zarkorr! The Invader.” It’s a film so bad but so utterly entertaining that you’ll likely laugh along with its idiocy as it takes you on the roller coaster ride.

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Feeding Frenzy (2010) (DVD Review)

feeding frenzy poster“It’s very likely the tomato paste has AIDS in it.”

Red Letter Media, the production company behind all of the classic internet movie reviews of the “Star Wars” prequels that even garnered Simon Pegg’s unabashed endorsement releases their first feature film entitled “Feeding Frenzy” a trashy horror film very much in line with the company’s humor and even features their company mascot Mr. Plinkett as an ominous villain as a nod to fans who followed their brilliant video reviews so adamantly every year.

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Teeth (2007) (DVD)

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Director Mitchell Lichenstein’s controversial dark comedy is a strong contender for one of the best of 2008 featuring one of the most twisted comedies I’ve ever seen. Though it’s heavily steeped in the horror genre, writer Lichtenstein doesn’t just pose a concept that’s potentially ridiculous, but he takes it and turns it into a rather surprising and brilliant allegory on sex, and evolution. “Teeth” is the antithesis of every coming of age romance you’ve ever seen with a twist of Tim Burton, and John Waters thrown in for good measure. Dawn is the next step of evolution with her infliction of Vagina Dentata, and she doesn’t even know it. In a town with a radioactive plant always present in the backdrop in every shot of the film, Dawn has taken the next step of evolution for women and doesn’t quite know how to deal with it.

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