Normally this would be the point in my review where I start off warning that unless you get seizures, “Mega Monster…” might not be the movie for you. But then I grew up watching “Power Rangers” religiously, and played Super Nintendo non-stop so I’m two steps ahead of the game. For folks who have yet to really be exposed to this sort of content, “Mega Monsters” will serve as a pure sensory overload. It’s colorful, loud, bright, vibrant, loud, explosive, loud, incoherent, often times breakneck paced, and did I mention loud?! But seriously, while a film like this has little story, you really have to pay attention to know what’s happening with the narrative and I mean you really have to pay attention.
Monster Island is at it again, except this time we enter in to a virtual clone of Power Rangers, all of whom–named the Planet Patrol–take on Lord Doom and his lethal weapon Kraa! I’ve never seen any of the actual material for Planet Patrol (what little there is), nor am I aware of the back story, so “Kraa!” will assuredly be confusing for anyone paying attention. Especially when you see news footage from “Zarkorr!” blatantly reused for “Kraa!” All we’re told is that evil Lord Doom (who dons a stock skull mask and cape) is planning to unleash the Sea Monster Kraa! This monster will rise from the seas to conquer Earth, all the while Doom plans to take the planet’s ice for his world.
Beyond watching the movie marathons every summer on the local television stations as a child, I never really considered myself a fan of the Godzilla movies. Granted, I love the character of Godzilla, but I never actually cared about the mythos, the supporting characters, or any of the spin offs. But at one time I really cared for characters like Gamera, and Ghidorah, and Jet Jaguar, so the endless recommendations on the part of movie geeks insisting this was a very different Godzilla movie swayed me enough to want to see what “GMKG” was actually about, and surely enough it’s a very good Godzilla movie that takes all of the monsters and makes them villainous threats once again.
What do we mean by our favorite big bads? Don’t be fooled, we’re not listing our all time favorite Kaijus, because we’re not big kaiju fans. What we are fans of are giant monsters, monsters that stomp, monsters that destroy, and monsters with a point and purpose. Since “Cloverfield” is going to be stomping into theaters January 18th with incredible anticipation and mystery, we thought ringing in the anticipated film with a list of our all time favorite giant monsters would be a kick.
So we sifted through our library of movies, we googled a lot of giant monsters and we went through some of our favorites. In the end, even though we liked Gamera, and Mothra, and Mechagodzilla, and even though we passed on some like Voltron, and the beast from The Relic, we couldn’t help but feel a giant affection for these monstrous furious baddies who took a small city and made it their bitch. Some of these are commentaries on nuclear war, some of these are commentary on space travel and disrupting our oceanic settings, and some of these are just plain old mean and angry beasts who take joy from eating helpless citizens and hapless police officers.
“Cloverfield” and a mysterious giant monster wreaks pure bloody havoc on New York City soon, and we thought that it was the right time to invite some contemporaries over in hopes that JJ Abrams’ monster ends up as horrifying as these fine individuals. Lock up your children, call the army, and ready your tanks, these baddies are on the prowl!