The Contrabulous Fabtraption of "Step Up 3D"

“People dance because dance can change things. One move, can bring people together. One move, can make you believe like there’s something more. One move, can set a whole generation free.”

It’s pretty surprising how anyone attempting to be considered a legitimate movie critic can somehow sully all credibility with his quasi-positive review of a dance movie set to 3D. What with 3D now shown as nothing but a cheap gimmick, injected in to a movie series that was nothing but a gimmick in the first place, I can understand why people would detest anything with “Step Up” attached. I mean with a quote you see at the beginning of this article, I can’t blame anyone for being remotely aggressive at the sight of this film or a remotely positive grading. But, as is the requisite, I’m in the minority when I say while “Step Up 3D” is a bad movie, it’s not the worst movie in theaters right now. This year brought without a doubt the worst movie in the last five year as directed by Kevin Smith, and we were force fed a “comedy” spoofing “Twilight.” Beyond that we also had a really awful “Nightmare on Elm Street” remake, Brendan Fraser battling animals, and a large Hawaiian wrestler dressed in a tutu and tights, but somehow people are convinced “Step Up 3D” is a plague on the box office.

Continue reading

This Film is Not Yet Rated: Unrated (2006)

Pussy, prick, cock, threesome, orgasm, cumming, doggy style, sixty-nine, orgy, jerk off, gang bang, cunt, cunnilingus, glory hole. If any of these words made you cringe, you’ve proven the basic point of “This Film is Not Yet Rated.” Why is America so afraid of sex? Why does sex frighten us? Why does liking certain sexual acts make us flee in terror? What about sex makes us afraid that it will shake our foundation? America is one of the few countries in the world so adamant about concealing sexual acts, and sexual themes are what sink films into NC-17 ratings. And most of these films with the NC-17’s are masterpieces; masterpieces that many people haven’t seen, like “The Dreamers” and “The Cooler.” And, that’s a damn shame.

Continue reading