Watching “The New Batch” is still a very disappointing experience, as director Joe Dante, and the writers seek out to destroy almost everything likable about the original movie. The fantasy and dark whimsy is gone, the menace is gone, and the monsters are more gimmicky than ever. “Gremlins 2” is such an unusually mean jab at the original film, it even mocks the more compelling aspects of the original, including the broad rules for keeping a mogwai, and Phoebe Cates’ haunting story about Christmas. Billy’s inventor father is also nowhere to be found, in favor of Dick Miller who appears to deliver flat running gags and becomes a cheesy plot device. There’s even a lame meta-joke where the movie stops mid-way thanks to the Gremlins that replace the film with their favorite film “Snow White.”
“Creature Crypt” is a four part weekly column that spotlights two creatures from our childhood that made us in to rabid horror fans. These are the creatures that scared us, wowed us, made us cry, and made us hope they weren’t under our bed.
Krites! I love them, I adore them. I even think they’re cooler than the Gremlins. What am I saying? They’d swallow those gremlins up whole. Can the Gremlins get in to one huge gang bang of a ball and swallow up a man with a few bites? I think not. Granted, you have to love Gizmo, but the Krites are tops with us.