The PC Thug: A Little (Final) Rant on “Star Wars”

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Don’t get me wrong, I love Star Wars, I think it’s fun escapism that’s dunderheaded but still massively entertaining, but the prospect of the entire series being continued in such a hectic rush is irritating, if only because it feels like a car wreck waiting to happen. I’m glad Disney bought the rights for the series from Lucas, but we’re not sure what difference it will make yet.

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And Now… The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

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A long time ago in a galaxy Far, Far Away, Bea Arthur ran a cantina with her alien pals.

And bandit Han Solo found it in his heart to interrupt his daring exploits to take Chewbacca home to be with his family for Christmas–er–Life Day. Though Chewbacca was explained as being a loner whose only friend was Han in the first film, he found time to bonk Mrs. Chewie and birth some chewbacca babies. So every now and then, I imagine Han has to stay over at his pal’s house, listening as Chewie and his wife argue with one another about taking out the trash, while Han tries to unfold the cot for his awkward sleep over.

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Jedi Junkies (2010)

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I’m surprised that a documentary titled “Jedi Junkies” about many fans that have a passion for “Star Wars” really seems to hold up its nose at the fandom. There are moments when the documentary wants to idolize the franchise that George Lucas molded, and then veers in to segments where we’re forced to explore the pitfalls of the fandom. There are even moments that seem to revel in exploring how much of a drag being a “Star Wars” fan can be, and how it’s consumed the lives of the people that follow the fandom so devoutly.

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Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

last-crusade-quad-poster-mIf anything, while “The Last Crusade” is considered the weakest film of the first three films, director Steven Spielberg teams up the world’s most popular James Bond actor, with the newest adventure hero Indiana Jones. Once considered the finale in the adventures of Indiana Jones, “The Last Crusade” takes another step back and examines the Indiana Jones from when he was a young man. Played by the late River Phoenix, director Spielberg chronicles many of the beats that turned Indiana Jones from a young daring man who cherished hallowed treasures, to an actual man who risked life and limb to return hallowed treasures back to their homes.

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Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

temple-of-doom-third-sheet-“The Temple of Doom” is one of the few prequels ever made that works, and works well. Though it gets a bad rap by some fans of the series, “The Temple of Doom” follows in the Lucas tradition where the ante is upped, and the sequel garners a much darker atmosphere with a unique premise not centered on the Nazis and their quest for world domination. “The Temple of Doom” is a great change of pace, in the end. And it’s damn fun, to boot.

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Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

ROTLABefore it was re-branded “Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark,” it was simply titled “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” Though the title promised great adventure, director Steven Spielberg and writer Lawrence Kasdan managed to deliver a hero every audience member could watch and relate to, no matter what the circumstance. Harrison Ford managed to depict a ruthless space pirate in “Star Wars” and brings that same charisma and enthusiasm to Indiana Jones, a big screen hero who is dashing and cunning, but just as average as anyone else venturing in to his world.

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Return of the Jedi (1983)

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While “Return of the Jedi” has its legions of fans, it’s also a film that helps support the idea that third parts of film series are usually terrible. While “Return of the Jedi” is not the worst movie ever made, it’s a flimsy, and pandering final installment to a series that started off quite well. It’s very well documented that by the time “Return of the Jedi” came around, director George Lucas was a millionaire thanks to merchandise, and he used “Return” as a means of selling even more toys. Thus characters come back through contrived manners, villains are offed in the goofiest ways, and Lucas follows up his dark and mature “Empire Strikes Back” in favor of a more watered down film starring knee high teddy bears.

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Star Wars – The Art of the Bad Deal — Serenity-Firefly Class of 03-K64

SW-SerenityOne of the interesting aspects of this Star Wars and Serenity one shot is that writer Zach Whedon takes the time out not only to tell interesting stories in a little under fifteen pages, but he draws parallels between the Firefly and Star Wars universe that’s tough to ignore. Deep down Han Solo and Malcolm Reynolds are cut from the same cloth. They’re both street smart pirates, they both love what they do, they both can handle themselves in combat, and they both have creaky old ships that they’d rather die in before giving up. In “The Art of the Bad Deal,” Han and Chewie land on a distant planet where they’re having trouble trading with a particular alien species.

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