The Pagemaster (1994)

When I was a kid whenever councils or committees tried to encourage kids to read, they always invented some kind of mascot, and for me it was Cap’n O. G. Readmore. Every Saturday morning after the cartoons, he’d show up to remind kids to read, and explain how much fun reading was. “The Pagemaster” has good intentions but deep down it feels disingenuous and an awful lot like a glorified Saturday Morning special turned in to a big feature. At barely eighty minutes in length, it’s a mediocre, dreary, occasionally boring film that you can’t help but feel like it could have been shown as a TV movie.

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Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016) [Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital]

alicethroughFor the five people that loved Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland,” Disney decides to give us yet another take on Lewis Carroll’s tale, as Alice ventures in to Wonderland to travel through time. And literally tries out run it as she experiences the oncoming specter of adulthood and hard decisions rearing its ugly head at her. Stepping in for Burton this time is James Bobin, who manages to assemble virtually the entire cast from the first film to tell what is essentially a very convoluted and incredibly tedious movie. Truthfully, director Bobin’s film isn’t as bad as Burton’s first film, but Bobin spends so much time trying to Burtonize his sequel, he forgets to inject any kind of entertainment in to the nearly two hour drama adventure.

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Dragon Wars: D-War (2007)

d-warShim Hyung-rae’s action film is a great concept with many possibilities that is never realized in to a watchable movie. While it’s not the worst movie of 2007, it’s an ill conceived film better suited for more forgiving Kaiju buffs. Shim Hyung-rae’s “D-War” is a confusing, poorly written, convoluted mess that only exists to host average CGI monsters, all of which are the actual stars here. Shim Hyung-rae’s film seems much better suited for cable, as its jumbled storyline tends to snuff out any momentum of action or suspense; it does sport one of the most droning prologues in cinema history, after all. “D-War” tends to fall in to repetition as a sloppy bit of fantasy filmmaking that it can never really decide what story it wants to tell. This meandering narrative does nothing but foreshadow future events, and the almost endless flashbacks hoping to bind the story into coherence fail and collapse in on themselves.

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Dragonheart (1996)

dragonheartRob Cohen’s “Dragonheart” is a film that was admittedly a favorite of mine when I was growing up. When it first premiered on cable, I recorded it on VHS and would watch the movie at least five times a week. Years later, “Dragonheart” is still a fun and rollicking bit of family fantasy fare. It’s by no means a masterpiece, but if you’re in the mood for a nice and breezy fantasy adventure with a hint of menace to it, you might enjoy what Cohen brings to the table. This is also one of the very few buddy action movies involving a human and a dragon, both of whom make up a bickering pair of friends that find common ground and a common enemy.

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The Neverending Story (1984)

neverendingstoryIN LIMITED RE-RELEASE September 4th and September 7th – Wolfgang Peterson’s fantasy epic is a tribute to the thrill of reading and a pretty excellent meta trip in to the human psyche that can often help build the worlds we read on the page. “The Neverending Story” takes great strides in delivering a unique fantasy experience, and it’s nice to see Peterson aiming for something different in a decade where every studio wanted their own “Star Wars.” Despite being adapted from the novel and embracing its format, “The Neverending Story” feels a lot like an experience you can find with “The Princess Bride” in which we get to experience such a vast world that is brought to life with the thrill of storytelling.

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Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 1, Planet of the Dino-Knights (1995)

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Watching “Josh Kirby” is like watching a lost series from the Action Pack stunt from television in 1995, where you almost expect it to air alongside “Hercules.” in truth, the series of six films unfolds like one short kids television adventure series, and even for a movie aimed at kids, it’s hard to catch up. There’s so much about this universe, that the movie opens with a five minute montage of scenes from the movie that’s somehow meant to keep us up to speed with what we haven’t seen yet. Really, it feels like filler and an odd place to place such a device when it’d be suited more appropriately for the second part of the film series.

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Remembering “Surface”: Sea Monsters, Dragons, and Lake Bell

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“Surface” is the definition of a series with a one note concept that would have worked much better as a mini-series when all is said and done. Around the mid-aughts, NBC television began working their way in to science fiction and began airing the quite ambitious “Surface.” During 2005, ABC’s “Lost” was taking America by storm and dominating pop culture with its mysterious storylines and baffling plot twists, so every network attempted to build their own franchise in the same vein. “Surface” is a valiant attempt with misguided writing.

And yes, I sat through the whole thing.

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The PC Thug: “Game of Thrones” Renewed my Faith in the Fantasy Realm

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People often ask me why I took so long to watch “Game of Thrones,” and it’s pretty simple, really. For one thing, at the time, “The Walking Dead” had premiered, and my attention was completely on its season runs, and number two: I just didn’t want to invest time in it until I understood what it was about. In the past I’d invested time in period series based on source material, and came up with no real rewards for my investment. I spent many years watching “Deadwood” only for HBO to give it the shaft and never deliver the finishing movie that we deserved. “Carnivale” bored me to tears, and despite my best efforts to dig in to the world unfolding, “The Tudors” was just a tedious droning drama that offered nothing in return. I gave up after the second season, and I never tuned in to “The Borgias.”

It’ll be a cold day in hell before I watch a period show on Showtime ever again. No thank you.

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