Bonejangles (2017)

One thing I will say about “Bonejangles” is that it has a lot of enthusiasm. It has so much enthusiasm, in fact, that every bit of coherence is thrown out of the window in favor of a horror mish mash that makes no sense, is unfunny, not scary, and feels like it was put together by someone who had a lot of ideas, all of which were not enough for one feature length movie. It’s a shame too since Bonejangles is a cool slasher villain with a lot of potential, he’s just bogged down in to a movie that is without a doubt a humongous waste of time. I’m not against nonsense, but “Bonejangles” is directionless, random nonsense that felt sloppily composed from minute one.

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Subconscious Cruelty (2000)

In this anthology of the subversive, four tales are told with bloody realism. A woman is cut open while naked to remove something from her body, a man obsessed with his sister helps her give birth with dire consequences, a group rolls around outside in mud and blood, a man masturbates until the end and a group of women worship a man in a very particular way.

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Midnight Kiss (1993)

There’s probably a very good reason why “Midnight Kiss” has never seen a DVD or Blu-Ray release, and that’s because it’s very much a cheesy nineties horror movie lacking any kind of focus. Sometimes it’s an erotic thriller, sometimes it’s a gory vampire movie, and other time it even dips in to something of a vigilante superhero movie. Fans of vampire flicks will hate its soapy late night cable porn aesthetic, while fans of erotic thrillers will dislike the gory vampire tale that ensues. I’m not sure who will enjoy the vigilante vampire cop aspect, but that’s only some of the problems behind this movie.

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The Babysitter (2017)

McG’s newest film tries to be everything for everyone. And while it doesn’t always work, I loved “The Babysitter” for being so self aware most of the time. It’s not just a horror comedy about a really hot babysitter who turns out to be a Satanist, but it’s also a film packed with heart. It’s about growing up, learning to conquer your fears and insecurities, and learning that in life you have to take your lumps instead of finding the easy way out. Don’t get me wrong, “The Babysitter” is a fun and demented horror comedy, but it’s also a stellar coming of age film, as well. Writer Brian Duffield successfully conceives a slew of characters that learn something about each other and come to some kind of self realization.

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Sick Nurses (2007)

A group of young, sexy nurses seemingly living where they work are haunted and attacked by someone from their past.

In this film that seems to be a Thai take on the Jurei ghost story type, directors Piraphan Laoyont and Thodsapol Siriwiwat take a sub-genre, the vengeful ghost, and go to a point of insanity that is quite enjoyable. The film does not create much in terms of new aspects for the sub-genre, but it has some truly inspired moments, some really creepy sequences, and kills that are original and sometimes insane. The way they use each nurse’s obsession against her works quite well which helps the film feel fresh in its kills. The characters they create here are not particularly original or deep, they are fairly ditzy nurses completely obsessed with themselves and their love interest. The characters are even annoying at times, something that hinders any kind of sympathy that might be needed to truly care about their deaths. However, the way they die is entertaining and this helps a ton with a film of this sub-genre.

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Gerald’s Game (2017)

Mike Flanagan is one of the best directors working in film today. His list of genre offerings have been impressive, not just because the movies have been great, but because he knows how to build a damn good narrative. Flanagan has consistently impressed me, and with “Gerald’s Game” he delivers a stellar horror drama from the works of Stephen King. Even the best directors have fallen under the weight of the difficult to adapt King tales, but “Gerald’s Game” manages to be an unnerving and complex dramatic thriller that is focused on character and the sometimes weird coincidences of life and fate.

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Innocent Blood (1992)

I love John Landis, and I love that he at least tries to do something new whenever approaching the horror genre. No one else would try to bring together the mafia movie with the vampire movie. And while “Innocent Blood” stumbles in to a messy, dull, and silly horror comedy gangster picture, Landis is at least courageous enough to try to see where it’ll all take him. “Innocent Blood” suffers mainly from being so self congratulatory, to where Landis almost seems to be patting himself on the back at times. There are myriad scenes of characters in the movie watching classic horror movies on television, which is distracting considering the movie is set in Pittsburgh during the winter.

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Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled (2002)

Hot woman unleashes genie, genie meets hot woman, genie comes between hot woman and her husband, husband and genie fight for the love of the hot woman. Isn’t that always how it goes? Same old story. “Wishmaster 4” is a noticeable departure in quality, to the point where it’s almost distracting. The prologue is filmed in what looks like an HD camcorder, there’s a gratuitous sex scene not two minutes in to the film, and this time the evil djinn makes his grand appearance by emerging from a closet, as opposed to the previous times where he required a wish to take on full anthropomorphic form. Completely giving up on scaring the audience, “Wishmaster 4” is now dark fantasy, with our djinn humanized for the sake of a goofy romance.

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