See No Evil (2006)

I theorize that “See No Evil” would have been much more entertaining had Hulk Hogan been a knife wielding slasher stalking a bunch of nameless characters. Can you imagine the hulkster puckering his lips, swinging a chainsaw and screaming “What are ya gonna do, when the hulkamania comes after you?!” Don’t pretend that wouldn’t have been fun. “See No Evil” is a vehicle pretending to be horror, and watches like a grindhouse Z film that’s one part “Saw”, one part “Slumber Party Massacre”, and one part “Jason Lives.”

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Girls With Balls (2019)

Oliver Alfonso’s horror comedy is a movie that will likely be a very polarizing title down the line. For the people that actually bother to check it out on Netflix, “Girls with Balls” is a Z grade movie that walks the line between absolutely obnoxious, and admirably entertaining. I was mixed on “Girls with Balls” as it packed some great meaty horror comedy material, along with some woefully stupid moments and unlikable characters.

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Survivorz (2017)

The independent film circuit isn’t exactly lighting the world on fire with their zombie horror fare lately. That’s a shame too considering there are so many bright voices out there that could re-invent the formula, and deliver something massive. “Survivorz” is low budget, routine, mediocre, repetitive zombie apocalypse fodder that feels like a dull video game, and never quite takes advantage of its setting. It’s set in London England but that’s really all the movie has to offer in the way of change of scenery.

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Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)

2009’s action horror comedy “Zombieland” is something of a cult classic, and while not exactly a masterpiece, it’s been admired in its own right for a decade. After many, many years, Columbia brings us a sequel that’s probably way too late. After fans demanded a sequel shortly after the release of the 2009 film, “Zombieland: Double Tap” finally graces us with the characters we love—and it does absolutely nothing new with them. It also doesn’t take us in to any kind of new area of Zombieland that we haven’t seen before, which ends in disappointing returns in a follow up with occasional bright spots.

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Joker (2019)

“Is it me… or is the world getting meaner?”

Bill Finger’s creation The Joker has remained one of the most fascinating figures in all of pop culture and comic books medium. Every new generation finds an angle upon which to examine the Joker and how he’s so much more than a simple Batman villain. It has fascinated artists for decades how someone can sink so far in to the murky depths of madness that they can’t even see the light anymore. Christopher Nolan set a high bar that director Todd Phillips almost touches with the ugly, grotesque, depressing and yet quite fantastic “Joker.”

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Zombi 3 (1988)

So “Zombi 3” is technically “Zombi 2” while “Zombi 2” is technically “Zombi” if you cut out “Dawn of the Dead” which was renamed “Zombi.” It’s a confusing rabbit hole that goes so deep, you’ll pass out from the confusion. In either case, Bruno Mattei’s (Lucio Fulci’s? Claudio Fragrasso’s?) “Zombi 3” is one of those so bad it’s good zombie films that I didn’t hate. Maybe it’s because I didn’t have a history with it, but I kind of loved how aimless “Zombi 3” was with its zero plot, paper thin characters and the way it meanders back and forth.

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Prom Night (2008)

Nelson McCormick’s “Prom Night” is not even technically a remake, at all. In fact most of the film doesn’t even take place during prom night. After drudging through an endless array of teen melodrama that was obviously only a lead up to the killing, director Nelson McCormack’s thriller seems to actively work at not being scary. Perhaps it’s to keep from offending the young audience to which this PG-13 snooze fest was touted to, but “Prom Night 2008” lacks any of the inherent terror the original film possessed, however minimal it is.

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