Drive-In Mutants: The Gate (1987)

Every month we discuss some of the best and worst cult films ever made, from the hits, classics, underground, grind house, and utterly obscure, from Full Moon, and Empire, to Cannon and American International, it’s all here, minus the popcorn, and car fumes.

The Gate
1987
Aliases:
None
New Century Vista Film Company
Directed by:
Tibor Takács
Starring: Stephen Dorff, Christa Denton, Louis Tripp

The Plot is Afoot! When his parents go away on a trip for the weekend, Glen and his best friend Terry begin experiencing unusual goings on in their backyard, including the discovery of a mysterious geode and a bottomless hole. After accidentally playing a Satanic incantation on one of their favorite heavy metal albums, events spiral out of control, as Glen, Terry, and big sister Al find themselves under siege by relentless demons that plan to drag them back to hell, and infiltrate Earth to invade. With the trio trying to survive the demonic invasion, they decide to fight back before hell opens up and swallows reality.

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Drive-In Mutants: Hell Night (1981)

Every month we discuss some of the best and worst cult films ever made, from the hits, classics, underground, grind house, and utterly obscure, from Full Moon, and Empire, to Cannon and American International, it’s all here, minus the popcorn, and car fumes.

Hell Night
1981
Compass International Pictures
Directed by:
Chuck Russell
Starring: Linda Blair, Vincent Van Patten, Peter Barton, Suki Goodwin

The Plot is Afoot! It’s Hell Night, the night before classes officially start, and Marti and her friends have been challenged by Alpha Sigma Rho to stay overnight at the dreaded Garth Mansion. The Mansion has a long history involving a deformed family, murder, and suicide, and the classmates are intent on making their night terrifying.  Taking the challenge, soon they begin to realize they’re being terrorized by the deformed owner of the manor, and are unknowingly locked in the mansion thanks to the steel gates. Now they have to escape and make their way back to town, or fight for survival and hope for a rescue.

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Drive-In Mutants: Chopping Mall (1986)

Drive-in-MutantsEvery month we discuss some of the best and worst cult films ever made, from the hits, classics, underground, grind house, and utterly obscure, from Full Moon, and Empire, to Cannon and American International, it’s all here, minus the popcorn, and car fumes.

choppingmall_posterCHOPPING MALL
1986
Aliases:
Killbots
Concorde Pictures
Directed by:
Jim Wynorski
Starring: Kelli Maroney, Barbara Crampton, Suzee Slater, Tony O’Dell, John Terlesky, Russell Todd

The Plot is Afoot! The Park Plaza Mall just signed on to install a high tech trio of robotic guards that patrol the grounds until dawn and disable any potential thieves until the police arrive. When lightning strikes the technology, the robots malfunction and begin hunting down eight employees that have decided to party in the mall overnight.

With the robots on the hunt, the eight employees do their best to outwit and outlast the murderous robots and perhaps survive until dawn when the sealed doors finally open. But with the robots capable of working together, while shooting deadly lasers and electric darts at the helpless friends, staying alive is going to be more difficult than either of them ever imagined.

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Drive-In Mutants: Bikini Academy (1996)

DriveinMutants

Every month we discuss some of the best and worst cult films ever made, from the hits, classics, underground, grind house, and utterly obscure, from Full Moon, and Empire, to Cannon and American International, it’s all here, minus the popcorn, and car fumes.

bikiniacademy-posterBIKINI ACADEMY
1996
Aliases:
Babe Watch: Forbidden Parody
Entertainment 7
Directed by:
Rick Sloane
Starring: Raelyn Saalman, Tane McClure, Ashlie Rhey, Steven Todd Lange

The Plot is Afoot! Lucki and her friend Ty-Dy work day to day in a bikini shop and aspire to compete for a job as their local beach’s lifeguards. Training with an uptight drill instructor and hunky trained lifeguard Brock, the two pursue the opportunity in hopes that it can open up their aspirations for modeling and acting. Meanwhile rival Bodacia seeks the job in hopes of improving her modeling career, and will do whatever she can to win, including rigging the contest. That doesn’t sit well with Lucki who has a genuine affection for him, despite his indifference toward her.

And there are boobs. Lots of boobs.

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Drive-In Mutants: Hardbodies (1984)

DriveinMutants

Every month we discuss some of the best and worst cult films ever made, from the hits, classics, underground, grind house, and utterly obscure, from Full Moon, and Empire, to Cannon and American International, it’s all here, minus the popcorn, and car fumes.

hardbodies-posterHARDBODIES (1984)
Aliases:
None
Columbia Pictures
Directed by: Mark Griffiths
Starring: Grant Cramer, Teal Roberts, Gary Wood, Michael Rapport

The Plot is Afoot!
Scotty is a slacker and ladies man who roams the beach with his best friend Rag looking to score with gorgeous women. They’re called “Hardbodies,” and he’s more than successful in bedding his fair share of beach bunnies.

After being kicked out of his apartment by his ruthless landlord, Scotty luckily meets three middle aged men who hire him to get them in to hot parties and hook them up with as many gorgeous women as he can.

All seems to be going well, but when Scotty begins falling for sexual conquest Kristi, he’s torn between endless one night stands, or being in his first real committed relationship.

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Drive-In Mutants: Contamination .7 (1993)

DriveinMutants

Every month we discuss some of the best and worst cult films ever made, from the hits, classics, underground, grind house, and utterly obscure, from Full Moon, and Empire, to Cannon and American International, it’s all here, minus the popcorn, and car fumes.

the-crawlersCONTAMINATION .7 (1993)
Aliases: Troll 3, Creepers, The Crawlers, Troll III: Contamination Point 7
Epic Productions
Directed by: Joe D’Amato, Fabrizio Laurenti
Starring: Mary Sellers, Jason Saucier, Bubba Reeves, Chelsi Stahr, Vince O’Neil

The Plot is Afoot! What if “The China Syndrome” was remade but featuring the budget of the Craft Services, three writers amounting to a horrible script, and a cast with zero skill to deliver even the most fundamental dialogue? You ultimately get the utterly awful “Contamination .7” where in a small town named Smallsville, is being terrorized by a deadly outbreak of man killing tree roots that murder anyone and everyone for reasons unexplained. They reside in a contaminated forest covered in radioactive waste. Not a single troll rears its head at any point in the movie.

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Drive-In Mutants: Roller Boogie (1979)

Drive-in-MutantsEvery month we discuss some of the best and worst cult films ever made, from the hits, classics, underground, grind house, and utterly obscure, from Full Moon, and Empire, to Cannon and American International, it’s all here, minus the popcorn, and car fumes.

rollerboogieposterROLLER BOOGIE (1979)
Aliases: None
United Artists Pictures

Directed by: Mark L. Lester
Starring: Linda Blair, Jim Bray, Beverly Garland, Roger Perry

The Plot is Afoot! Terry is a classical musician and wealthy young girl who dreams of being a roller skater and disco dancer. She meets quick talking huckster Bobby James who is one of the best roller skaters in California. After seeking a chance to become a roller skater, she looks for Bobby James who begins to fall in love with Terry.

With Terry’s future in college gradually veering toward a life of music, she begins to warm up to Bobby who shows his charms. Meanwhile, the owner of a popular roller skating rink is being pushed out of his business by a crooked land developer who wants to destroy it. Terry, Bobby, and their large cavalcade of skaters team up to save their favorite hang out and compete one last time.

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Drive-In Mutants: April Fool’s Day (1986)

DriveinMutants

Every month we discuss some of the best and worst cult films ever made, from the hits, classics, underground, grind house, and utterly obscure, from Full Moon, and Empire, to Cannon and American International, it’s all here, minus the popcorn, and car fumes.

aprilfoolsday1APRIL FOOL’S DAY (1986)
Aliases: None.
Paramount Pictures
Directed by: Fred Walton
Starring: Deborah Foreman, Amy Steel, Thomas F. Wilson, Ken Olandt.

The Plot is Afoot!
The wealthy Muffy St. John is hosing a party at her island mansion with a group of her close college friends on the weekend leading in to the ever infamous April Fool’s Day. Muffy is a lover of pranks and gags, implementing them on her guests, and encouraging them to have a good time. Suddenly party guests begin to disappear and guest Nan realizes the games aren’t so funny anymore, discovering the bodies and limbs of her friends.

The guests soon realize they’re incapable of leaving the island until the end of the weekend and must figure out a way to survive until then. Especially now that they’ve learned their friend Muffy has been replaced by her criminally insane and psychotic twin sister Buffy.

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