Suffering Through the “Zombie Bloodbath” Trilogy

The “Zombie Bloodbath” trilogy is the sheer apex of garbage zombie movie fodder. It topples even “Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection.” The trilogy is something you’ll be forgetting minutes after, as only an hour after viewing these I can’t truly recollect the plots. There’s really no sense of arc, continuity, or overall cohesive storytelling here, as the zombies take center stage in films where characters are a sheer after thought. In the first Zombie Bloodbath from 1993, at a remote radioactive plant, its workers suffer the outbreaks of a chemical spill which turns them into—what else? Zombies.

The workers then turn into the rotten flesh eaters and spread out onto a small town where a brother and sister and their family attempt to escape them. Set your remotes on fast forward, as the film garners some atrocious acting, pretty cheesy direction, and the special effects which, quite honestly, aren’t too bad. Director Todd Sheets’ attempts to gross out audiences won’t work with people that have seen about everything else in the horror genre, but with what he supplies “Zombie Bloodbath” is not too shabby in the effects department.

Though, I can always keep low budgets, and low rate actors in consideration, there’s just no excuse for the “Zombie Bloodbath” series. How can you enjoy a movie that features a distracting moment with modern flashlight in a sequence set in 1945? Zombie Bloodbath 2 from 1995 is a film I couldn’t really understand too well for the fact that the story not only made no real sense, it was just so confusing. Establishing the basis for a satanic cult, and psychotic family in 1945, we then head into modern times where a group of friends stop after their tire has a flat. They enter into an old roadside farmhouse, and before they know it, they’re bring terrorized by the very hillbillies we saw in the beginning.

It gets rather incoherent to the point where I could barely understand what I was suffering through. In all seriousness, director Todd Sheets really does attempt to bring us one of a kind zombie films, with unusual plots attached, but he tends to fail in the trap of absolutely tedious writing, the absolutely nonsensical premises, and the atrociously bad acting. Director Sheets seems to have enlisted the help of friends and family, and breaks Joe Bob Briggs’ golden rule: Don’t hire friends and family for your movies when there’s always an aspiring actor hungry for work if you look hard enough. Case in point Zombie Bloodbath 3 from 2000, an interesting but altogether rather idiotic horror movie that’s, sadly, the last in this putrid trilogy.

In the future, in an attempt to stop the zombies, a group of military workers lead the walking dead into a space shuttle through an abandoned mine shaft. Being rid of them, they lock the zombies in and launch them into space, where they’re sucked into a black hole. They then end up in present time. In present time, we join a group of friends in detention where they’ve decided to play hooky. And wouldn’t you know it? The group of friends end up drifting to the mine shaft that so happens to be along the school premises. Talk about bad architectural planning.

Curiosity eventually strikes, and a la “Return of the Living Dead II,” the dead infection spreads among the individuals, the terror reigns after school. Guts are munched, and one particular teacher has his intestines ripped out, only to come back as a coherent zombie intent on revenge on the students that mocked him. The entire trilogy is really rather tough to sit through, but Todd Sheets seems to have taken much of his own minimal skill and anxiously attempted to muster up some originality, suspense, and atmosphere.

Swing and a miss.