Bloodrayne (2006)


Look at those… sharp swords…?

Crushing every bit of potential for a great movie under the weight of his own abysmal vision, “Bloodrayne” is yet another video game adaptation that fails to deliver to its audience. “Bloodrayne” doesn’t attempt to appease the intelligent movie-goers, yet Boll aims for the young teenagers and utter dimwits by transforming his adaptation from a horror fantasy about a female heroine in to pure exploitation. Prepare for a ton of blatant nudity and sex that has no relevance to the narrative, or any real point, for that matter. Bloodrayne is yet another leather-clad fetishized Goth whose character emphases is based on her line “I have no family, I am an orphan.”

She repeats the line to basically everyone she comes across. All the while the rest of the characters really are nothing but concepts and half baked ideas. Characters enter and exit like stage performers at a community theater delivering flat lines without conviction, and if you look closely you can see some of the cast go out of character as the scenes shift. The worst off among the cast is Ben Kingsley whose role is built up of him sitting at a throne looking off into space doing basically nothing. “Bloodrayne” is a mind-numbing film that’s reliant on its experienced cast to deliver clunky lines, and shoots anachronisms at the audience without worry (who knew they had blue jeans, tank tops, and sweater vests in medieval times?).

Most criminal though is that writer Guinevere Turner steals from better films like “Underworld”, “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, and “Lord of the Rings,” and never seems to have enough confidence in the scripts own arc. Which is not surprising, the story actually present here is rather paper thin, and its characters are never interesting enough. In all fairness, “Bloodrayne” is the best of Boll’s films if you can look at it as exploitation and something you might have seen in 1993 released by Fred Olen Ray. If pushed in to a corner, I’d rather watch this again than “House of the Dead” or “Dungeon Siege.” Beyond that mindset, “Bloodrayne” is another in a line of truly terrible and inept Uwe Boll films.