If you can accept that Nick Gordon’s “Girl House” is a digital age version of “Slumber Party Massacre,” you might be able to make it through the so bad it’s good horror film just fine. I feel like punching people that use the term “Hate watch,” but “Girl House” is the very definition of a Hate Watch. It’s stupid, tedious, and makes no sense, but is saved miraculously by a very mean spirited and intense second half. It’s not often a movie starts out as a cheesy thriller about an internet stalker and transforms in to Leatherface: The Handy Man in “California Power Tool Massacre.” Actor Slaine does as grand job as monstrous villain “Loverboy.”
When he was a kid, he was chased in to the woods by two very mean young girls and taunted to the brink of tears forced in to performing various sexual deeds. After viciously murdering the ring leader of the pair of girls, he grows up to be a very angry and demented man. Spending his time by day as a repairman and computer maintenance worker, he spends his free time obsessively watching a voyeur porn website where a group of girls perform shows for customers and allow them to view them in candid moments. Known by the handle “Loverboy,” he lives a life very similar to Joe Spinell from “Maniac,” draping his apartment with pictures of the girls in the house and speaking to sex dolls that resemble the performers.
Soon enough he forms affections for performer Kylie, a sexy girl next door type and college student struggling to make ends meet who begrudgingly takes a job at the house. Director Gordon brings us through a lot of beats, literally trying to find his groove in the narrative throughout the duration of “Girl House.” One moment “Loverboy” is a tormented man with a sexual dysfunction, then he’s a maniacal sex obsessed pervert, the movie then heads in to dramatic territory when Kylie begins falling in love with a local student, and then even veers in to softcore territory as we venture in to the lives of the female performers. Finally once Kylie begins drifting from the service, “Loverboy” feels slighted and goes on a blood soaked rampage with his power tools.
Almost making up for the slow pace of the first half, “Girl House” goes in to overdrive, as “Loverboy” massacres everyone he meets, and soon gets in to a battle of wits and endurance with Kylie. The rest of the women are sheep for the slaughter, left to be murdered by Loverboy as every customer watches online helplessly. It’s a nice bit of urgency and hopelessness Gordon touches on too little, too late. That said, once “Girl House” drops all pretense and shifts in to slasher movie mode, it’s a mean and sadistic hack and slash, as Kylie is left helpless and forced to battle her maniacal stalker. “Girl House” is such a ridiculous and uneven movie, but one that thankfully picks up by the second half with a strong slasher motif. For that reason alone, it’s worth a watch by experimental horror fans.