Christian Mingle: The Movie (2015)


“Christian Mingle” and its main character Gwyneth in a nutshell: “I’m a successful and ambitious woman, a quality that completely turns men off. So to attract someone I’m going to lie about everything that I am and submit myself to subservience and relinquish everything I worked for! That’ll get me a guy!”

Granted, Lacey Chabert is adorable, but she’s just so much better than what this propaganda fest entails.

Not only is it clear cut Christian propaganda, but it’s a glorified commercial for the dating website that makes it clear it’s only for Christians of the Christian faith that want to meet other Christians who believe in Christianity. In case you didn’t get that message one of the characters tells character Gwyneth “That place is for Christians to meet other Christians! You’re not Christian!” So stay the hell out of the website all you atheists, Muslims, and Catholics. There are probably other niche dating websites for you. So to attract a man, because no girl’s life is complete without one, Gwyneth buys a bunch of books about Christianity and signs up to the website to meet the guy of her dreams. Why just “Christian Mingle” when she could have gone to “Match” or “Ok Cupid,” though?

I guess because there ain’t no one better than Christians. I’m sure she could have met a nice Scientologist somewhere down the road, but the movie itself is in no way interested on touting the idea that you can find love and good people of any faith from all walks of life. That would make the movie meaningful and absolutely worthwhile. No, you have to meet a Christian if you want to meet a good person. Chabert’s adorable quotient almost outweighs the despicable misogyny that runs rampant in this movie, and she’s part of the reason why I stuck around. Chabert just looks more gorgeous the older she gets, and she pulls off a charming performance. Truth be told, “Christian Mingle” is just a bland bit of propaganda that lacks any kind of energy, originality, or bold storytelling. It’s just a vanilla movie that revels in its blandness, and gets the job done by advertising Christian Mingle as much as humanly possible.