A Monsterous Holiday (2013)

I don’t want to say “A Monsterous Holiday” feels like a throwaway episode of “Jimmy Neutron,” but our main character is a scientist wunderkind with goofy brown hair and a robot dog. You do the math. “A Monsterous Holiday” is less a monster comedy and more a friendship tale about a scientist who wants to create life, and a monster that learns how to live.

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Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)

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For the sequel to the creative but utterly underwhelming “Urban Legends,” director John Ottman and the writers basically ape “Scream” by taking the premise and much of the film’s general concept to the world of filmmaking. This time around “Final Cut” centralizes its story on a film school where a bunch of wannabe directors and actors are being knocked off by a serial killer with a fencing mask. Granted, I’m not a fan of the “Scream” films, but often times “Final Cut” feels like a poor man’s version of the Wes Craven series. A bunch of glamorous young folks in their thirties play aspiring Hollywood artists/college students, all of whom are being offed one by one by a masked killer in some of the most grotesque and anti-climactic ways possible.

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Urban Legend (1998)

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I never understood why, if “Urban Legend” is set in New England, does the killer wear a heavy winter coat that drapes over their face during what looks like the early Fall season. You figure the killer would opt for something sleeker and more compact, as well as something that doesn’t directly cut off peripheral vision. But that is one of the many irritating aspects of “Urban Legend” that demands a lot from its audience in the way of suspension of disbelief. This is a world where suddenly everyone owns a winter jacket with white fur lining once we’re aware of the killer’s garb. Even swimmers who happen to be wearing swimsuits decide to wear it while walking along an in-door pool. Only in this universe does that make even the slightest bit of sense.

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Shocker (1989)

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Wes Craven creates Freddy Krueger. Again. This time rather than invading the meta-reality of dreams, maniac Horace Pinker can travel through televisions. That said, “Shocker” is basically like “Nightmare.” There’s a maniac, a main character linked to him through dreams, a secret that the main character’s neglectful parent is hiding, a major supporting character that dies thanks to the maniac that allows the main character to face off against the maniac, and a final showdown where the main character turns the tables on the maniac.

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Friday the 13th: Jason vs. Jason X

My original thought was how the hell they’d explain Jason Voorhees fighting uber-Jason from Jason X. And the writers do a piss poor job of it. Maybe there are two realities in the future in where the space scavengers form a time rift? Who knows? What we learn is that Uber-Jason is not really Jason, but the head of Jason with a body compiled of nanobots, and robotic parts. He is kind of a pseudo-Jason, to be exact.

We learn in the two part mini-series that he’s convinced he’s Jason and is trying to re-claim the psyche of the original Jason to complete his memory and continue his mission to murder everyone and anyone who steps foot in Camp Crystal Lake. So Jason belonged to Earth Prime, which is now a wasteland, and the space crew from “Jason X” froze and destroyed Jason from Earth 2. That Jason was re-invented as a science fiction monster known as Uber-Jason. They then went to Earth Prime to capture Jason again, and learn from his regenerative tissues. That failed. Duh.

And now Jason is thawed and lurking on the abandoned ship. We now have two Jasons. So does that mean we have two Freddy Kruegers and two Pinheads and two Leprechauns? In either case, taking off from the “Jason X” special, the characters from Earth Prime that survive their confrontation with Jason end up on the party ship where Uber-Jason is, and as one female pilot attempts to flee, she ends up caught in between the battle of Jason and Uber-Jason for complete dominance.

As with the usual slasher fare, there are no characters we can root for, but this comic takes it to a whole other level. There are literally no interesting heroes or heroines here, and it’s mainly just pages of slaughtering hapless victims. The fight between uber-Jason and Jason also doesn’t warrant much sense, especially considering the Jason the writers chose to go with, in the end. Uber-Jason kills Jason, and puts his brain in to his own head to garner the crown of Jason Prime. So then what? Is Uber-Jason the primary design now? It’s all so unsatisfying, in the end.

Jason X Special [Avatar Press]

When Uber-Jason crash landed in to Earth in the end of “Jason X,” it turned out to be another virtual reality. In an effort to grab a part of his regenerative tissue to learn about his healing properties, a young scientist is able to snare and trap him. Since that doesn’t last long, things get worse when Uber-Jason’s psyche re-invents the memories of his mother as a computer system who begins controlling Jason’s thoughts and commands.

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