After a raid by armed soldiers during a party with the world’s top agents and their kids, Juni Cortez (Daryl Sabara), the youngest of the Cortez spy family is accused of stealing the high powered super weapon The Transmooker Device. Now Carmen (Alexa Vega) and Juni Cortez must travel to the island of lost dreams and face off against monsters, soldiers, and rival agents Girti (Emily Osment) and Gary Giggles and find the real transmooker device before the evil Donnagon (Mike Judge) gets a hold of it and prove Juni’s innocence. But their parents and meddlesome grandparents are on the hunt for the kids before they’re killed. I tend to easily grow tired of family movies if they’re either too hokey or corny; most of the time, they’re both.
Monthly Archives: October 2003
House of the Dead (2003)
After the (literally) seven minute long opening to “House of the dead”, I was almost sure this would suck as I instantly lost patience with this frenzied film; man, I should learn to listen to my instincts more. I sat in the theatres watching and squirming in my seat because I had to use the bathroom, and had pre-determined I would hold it until the movie ended (not wanting to miss out). After about ten minutes in, to the bathroom I went. What’s sad is that this is not only a bad movie, but a bad zombie movie with a lot of potential to it. With a plot off of “Zombie” and “Resident Evil”, the movie had a lot of chances to become innovative and creative yet Uwe Boll takes no chances and goes by the book.
Secretary (2002)
Lee Holloway (Maggie Gyllenhaal) just got out of a mental institution for cutting her self due to stress, and now comes home to even more stress including her overprotective mother (Leslie Anne Warren) and resorts back to her old habits. She soon decides to get a job in typing and instantly becomes skilled, looking for a job. She stumbles upon a small law firm run by a militant E. Edward Grey (James Spader) who is mostly professional and soon develops an odd fascination with her. They soon find they each have a fancy for the sadomasochistic. The aspect that makes this movie so unique is that both characters are so pathetic at times, and somehow become drawn to each other. Grey is a lawyer in a quiet and boring firm who quivers in his office, and Holloway is a nimble and meek girl who tends to hide behind her desk; self inflicted torture is what draws them together emotionally and sexually.
13 Seconds (2003)
There isn’t much original material you can inject into horror movies these days, so when I was sent this film, I was pretty skeptical. Though, reading upon it’s merits and numerous awards, I decided to confront this film with an open-mind. Jeff Thomas’ directing is the highlight of the film, it’s not hard to get past the low-budget and realize the film is very well directed. He manages to set the mood and atmosphere down just right enough to keep the audience in suspense and at the edge of their seat. Often, I was left very tense as the characters found themselves trapped in a dark room and confined to the horrifying grim settings of the mansion.
Real Women Have Curves (2002)
Ana is proud of her body, and she doesn’t hide it; not from her mother not from anyone and struts confidently. What’s so unique about that? She’s a heavy set girl. Often times in Hollywood movies, the main character who is often a girl that is as thin as a stick pretends to look ugly. Not that America Ferrerra is ugly; she’s a very beautiful girl. But, there’s this perception among the masses that a girl has to be thin to be beautiful but what the film says is that you can look any way you choose and still be beautiful. It’s a message injected from writer Josefina Lopez; It’s a positive message, it’s a realistic message, and it’s a message that should be spread to many of today’s young girls. In a world where beautiful means successful, this film is grounded in reality showing that Ana is beautiful and successful just because of who she is.
Christina's House (2001)
A young girl named Christina (the insanely hot Allison Lange) has just moved into her new home with her father and brother and begins to re-adjust to life while their mother remains in an insane asylum. Suddenly, odd things begin to happen: people get killed near the home, half eaten cookies and freshly made sandwiches are discovered lying around the house, and windows and doors lock by themselves while strange notes are found. Christina soon begins to wonder if the incidents are real, or if she’s losing her mind like her mother.