Into the Storm (2014) [Blu-ray/DVD/Digital]

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If it’s at all possible, “Into the Storm” manages to out silly “Twister” by miles. It features a giant hurricane, absolutely valiant attempts to comment on global warming, and a fire tornado! A fire tornado trumps a flying cow any day of the week, sad to say. “Into the Storm” is a silly movie without a single compelling character, but when it stops trying to create drama it’s actually a lot of fun to sit through. From the great special effects, to the absolutely tense carnage inflicted by nature, “Into the Storm” is that kind of movie you could see Paul Newman and Red Buttons co-starring in 1979.

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North Pole (2014) (DVD)

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Part one in an apparent movie series from Hallmark Entertainment, “Northpole” is a cute film about Christmas, and trying to preserve the happiness. Literally. It’s a simple and down to Earth movie that celebrates the more entertaining aspects of the holiday, while also building on a new hero in the form of elf Clementine. Bailee Madison is the definition of adorable as the rambunctious cherubic elf, desperately trying to keep the North Pole from dying what with the happiness of Christmas fading away in a sea of unfortunate cynicism. “North Pole” depends on Madison’s enthusiastic performance, and as always, she steals the movie. “North Pole” has its fair share of silliness, but it’s a fine Christmas movie with amusing quirks that I sat through with ease.

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Why Are Archers So Popular?

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While watching “Hunger Games: The Mockingjay, Part One,” my mind wandered. When Katniss Everdeen gets her new set of arrows (this is not a spoiler, is it?), some are explosive – “trick” arrows, similar to the ones used by Oliver Queen on Arrow or Hawkeye in The Avengers.

When these characters came to mind, I started to sense a pattern. In the 21st Century, people love archers: Legolas in the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit films; Green Arrow on both Arrow and Smallville; Hawkeye over at Marvel is experiencing great popularity both on the silver screen and in the pages of his own comic; Neytiri from James Cameron’s Avatar; Sterling Archer; Merida from Pixar’s Brave and Katniss offer girls positive role models, while Hanna maybe not so much. I think there’s also a girl who shoots arrows in the Narnia movies, but I’ve never seen those. I started to think about why these archers are so popular.

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The Walking Dead Season 5 Episode 7: Crossed

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If anything, Rick and Carol have shown that grief in the zombie apocalypse is for suckers. Two characters in this episode are suffering grief and commit really stupid mistakes that end up becoming liabilities to everyone around them. While Sasha’s big mistake in the final scene was the definition of gullibility, you have to laugh at Father Gabriel escaping the church only to be stuck by a nail on his foot.

Congratulations, you escaped without Michonne or Carl noticing! Now you’re going to die from tetanus. You can’t scream for help with lock jaw, sucker. Grady has become a bigger threat than I figured they would, and I guess that’s because they’re in a closed in structure.

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The Guest (2014)

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One thing I love about Adam Wingard that propelled him as one of my favorite directors working today, is that he loves to twist formulas. He did so with “You’re Next,” and he accomplishes the feat yet again with “The Guest.” His darkly comic horror film begs the question: What if you made friends with a super soldier who was practically Captain America? And what if instead of Steve Rogers, he was a psychopathic maniac with a relentless need to kill? “The Guest” asks that question by transforming Wingard’s villain in to an anti-hero who is at first the perfect guardian angel, but soon an unstoppable killing machine. Adam Wingard brings his A game once again, channeling a late seventies and mid-eighties aesthetic with a mesmerzing synth score that sets the tone for the wildly morbid events.

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Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings (1993) [Blu-ray]

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It’s kind of sad that “Blood Wings” is about as good as the series ever got. Surely the first film is good just as it is, but “Blood Wings” is about the only good sequel the movie series ever received, and I’m surprised the studios never sought to deliver higher quality follow-ups. You could technically count this as the final film in the series, and one that doesn’t completely realize the concept or expand on the mythos of the pumpkinhead monster. “Blood Wings” garners a smaller scale and much less logical tale about a dad wreaking havoc on the killers of his child, and focuses more on a witch, more reckless teens, and really awful performances all around.

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Squirm: Collector’s Edition (1976) [Blu-ray]

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I understand director Jeff Leiberman for his anger about his film being mocked on “Mystery Science Theater.” But I also understand why “Squirm” was such good fodder. Intentionally silly or not, “Squirm” is not a good movie, nor is it a good horror movie. It’s barely competent storytelling. I never could quite comprehend why “Squirm” was such a classic, but oddly enough it’s that movie that always rose to the surface to play on late night cable, or in drive in theaters. Don Scardino is laughably miscast as Mick, the hero of “Squirm” who visits his girlfriend Geri in her small Southern town for a romantic rendezvous. Of course, them hill folk don’t take too kindly to Mick’s straight forward attitude.

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ICYMI: Five Worst Movie Going Experiences

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I haven’t been to the movies since 2011, but I don’t remember a time where going to the movies resulted in an undisturbed experience. The only times I ever spent watching movies in a theater without an asshole destroying my experience were when I took in a matinee during the middle of a work and school week. That said, I spent a good portion of my childhood in movie theaters, and though the novelty eventually wore off, I left with some great and some horrible anecdotes to spare. Years ago I wrote a list of my worst experiences for Crave, and thought I’d re-post the five worst from the original top ten. I still love movies and the movie going experience. It’s magical. I just wish people had some grasp of consideration for others in this age of self-entitlement.

Have any bad movie going experiences of your own? Let us know in the comments!

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The Minions (2014)

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Director Jeremiah Kipp’s “The Minions” is a small scale but utterly eerie bit of fates twisting to suit pure evil. Except director Kipp and writer Joseph Fiorillo allow the audience what is pure evil and what is absolute justice. Willliam is a man walking home one night who decides test his fate by walking through a secluded alleyway that is said to be mostly unseen and inhabited by powerful witches.

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